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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to memes@lemmy.world · 9 天前

Another productive meeting

lemmy.world

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Another productive meeting

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to memes@lemmy.world · 9 天前
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  • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    Pro tip: Add a background image to your video conference for privacy.

    Most unsettling part here is toilet paper positioning (if not cat owner).

    • HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      The toilet paper is loaded backwards

      • marduk@lemmy.sdf.org
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        9 天前

        Every time my ex would reload, she loaded it this way. Every time I found it this way, I would reverse it

        • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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          9 天前

        • Hawke@lemmy.world
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          9 天前

          I’m pretty sure this was a contributing factor in my parents divorce.

      • GFGJewbacca@midwest.social
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        9 天前

        Excuse me, that’s the best way to load toilet paper. The best overall, however, is a bidet. Ascend, my child.

        • Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works
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          9 天前

          Is there a way on Lemmy to downvote and upvote at the same time?

          The first part of your statement says you should up your meds, the second part is lucid though.

          • Bgugi@lemmy.world
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            9 天前

            Lemmy needs to distinguish itself with character-level voting. Somebody made a great post but unironically used an interrobang? Hit 'em right in the analytics.

            • Denjin@lemmings.world
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              9 天前

              What did you just say about the interrobang‽

              • LilB0kChoy@midwest.social
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                9 天前

                What’s an interrobang‽

            • Seeker of Carcosa@feddit.uk
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              8 天前

              “Exquisite use of an interrobang, good sir. I doff my fedora to thee.”

    • just some guy@sh.itjust.works
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      9 天前

      As a cat owner, you’ll never catch my rolls in this blasphemous position. Kitty’s getting misted if he confuses hanging TP as a toy

    • nexguy@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      So it would look like you are chest deep in a toilet. It’s the way I prefer it anyway.

      • RobotZap10000@feddit.nl
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        9 天前

        How do you poop? A chart showing exciting new pooping postures that break the current boundaries of the pooping experience.

        • MotoAsh@lemmy.world
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          9 天前

          ahaha I love how the only one getting shit everywhere is literally Drumpf. Accurate.

        • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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          8 天前

          none of these there’s not enough crying

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      9 天前

      Cat owner… my stupid bois have found a way to empty the roll even when it’s placed like that. Nothing is safe.

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      That would not stop a cat

    • rovingnothing29@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      The toilet paper is correctly installed

  • gaterush@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    A bonus is you can invite your dental hygienist over and have your teeth cleaned while you work

  • mvirts@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    chokes to death on coffee

    • RedPostItNote@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Dies by monitor to face

      • Denjin@lemmings.world
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        9 天前

        At least he died doing what he loved. Being in a Teams call about interdepartmental efficiencies.

  • sprite0@sh.itjust.works
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    9 天前

    the startup i worked for got bought by a mega corp. They taught us devs how to use some intranet forms to order things we needed like keyboards and mice. These items would get approved or rejected by the engineering manager and it was pretty straightforward.

    I put a request into the system for one of these (well one very similar, the Scorpion) thinking my boss would see the $50k request and jokingly refuse it.

    What i did not know was that any request over a certain dollar amount triggered a review, by sending the request to my bosses boss. And over ANOTHER amount it did it again. I got a talking to but it was worth it to imagine the face on some VP seeing a dev try to order a $50k chair

    • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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      8 天前

      I bet they were laughing too before pretending to be mad

      • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        yeah, i bet they were trying to think of ways to reject it for op but approve it for themselves

  • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    9 天前

    I don’t think people realise that these setups (less exaggerated) are usually for disabled or chronically ill people unable to sit up.

    • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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      9 天前

      So me on a Wednesday morning after a questionable amount of moonshine the night before?

      • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        9 天前

        For some chronic illnesses. Yeah. But imagine that for life. And that’s the best you feel. It can get worse. Sometimes for long periods, you don’t know if you will get back even to the that “shitty best you feel”. And even at your best, you barely feel a fraction as good as a healthy person.

        You don’t get to feel okay your birthday, or on christmas, or when you need to do something special. You just feel ill, like a bad hangover or bad flu, in perpetuity.

        That’s the reality for a lot of severe chronic illnesses.

        • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          9 天前

          That’s me today! I’m playing my favorite game: chronic illness or acute illness?

  • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    this does no look confortable

    • Dabundis@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      If you use both hands to type the mouse would either fall off or be damgling from its cord

      • marduk@lemmy.sdf.org
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        9 天前

        I think it’s a trackball stuck in place but I could be wrong

        • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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          9 天前

          Indeed even worse

      • hddsx@lemmy.ca
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        9 天前

        Use a trackball and tape the base to the desk?

        • Skua@kbin.earth
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          9 天前

          Tiny jet engine that thrusts uphill to counteract gravity whenever your hand isn’t on the mouse

          • Farid@startrek.website
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            9 天前

            Electromagnets engage when you release the mouse.

  • CtrlAltDefeat@sh.itjust.works
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    9 天前

    Can get a dental cleaning during meetings, awesome

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Combining “company quarterly review” with “dental cleaning”, while time efficient, is a kind of sensory combo that’s right up there with “nuts and gum”. Sounds great until you think it through a bit.

      Edit: I’ve actually done the latter by accident. 1/10 - “I don’t know what I expected.”

      • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        “nuts and gum”

        together at last!

    • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      9 天前

      Put a big hole in that incline and your proctologist can do their thing too!

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    9 天前

    How’s Eternal Death Slayer 3 coming along, JP?

    • otacon239@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Do you like my music?

      You would if you had ROBOT EARS

    • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org
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      9 天前

      Mmmm beeb boop please sit on my face mmmm

    • Sc00ter@lemmy.zip
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      9 天前

      Im thinking about getting robot legs. Its a risky procedure

  • jaschen306@sh.itjust.works
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    9 天前

    thud oh sorry, brb… my mouse just slid off my table.

    • TheOakTree@lemm.ee
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      9 天前

      You would probably want a wired mouse for this one… maybe it could work like a bungee?

      • nelly_man@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        Or a trackball mouse that’s secured in place.

      • jaschen306@sh.itjust.works
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        8 天前

        I think someone should invent a magnetic mouse

  • subterfuge@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    Doubles as a hospital baby delivery bed, so you can work through labor.

    • Cort@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Oh America, what will you think up next?

  • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    9 天前

    Why isn’t this the standard?

  • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    That looks a lot more expensive than just a VR headset and a recliner or bed you likely already own. And in VR you can pick whether it’s 3 monitors, or one seamless curved triple-wide, no matter what you own in real life. And you can keep the monitor(s) with you when you stand up if you want.

    But, what I’m curious about… how is this a “shoes on” occasion?

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOPM
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      9 天前

      But, what I’m curious about… how is this a “shoes on” occasion?

      Work dress code.

      • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        Hehe, fair.

  • HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    I would just fall asleep

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    9 天前

    Good luck getting up to pee.

    • shoo@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Plenty of places to hang a catheter

      • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        they make these things called condom catheters

        • Etterra@discuss.online
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          2 天前

          I wish I didn’t know what words are.

          • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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            2 天前

            it’s not a sounding tool, it’s a “i have significant trouble getting or staying up, or significant trouble with urinary continence, or both: and have a penis, and do not want to use a traditional catheter” tool. dad used them when he was dying and losing control of (all of) his muscles so he wouldn’t wet the bed at night at 65. it’s basically a condom that, instead of having a little bubble for semen at the end, it has a non-inserted catheter, so you can urinate into it. they make at-home catheter management a lot easier, as foleys only safely last a month to my knowledge.

  • mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub
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    9 天前

    But the desk blocks me from accessing my penis???

    • Etterra@discuss.online
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      9 天前

      There’s a peripheral for that.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      This is a poorly designed masturbatorium

      • yesoutwater@lemm.ee
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        8 天前

        Nap?! This is not the place for a nap

    • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
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      8 天前

      You can’t see it so you probably wouldn’t be aware of its existence

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