wait till he learns about trans women
Basically this skit: https://youtu.be/20ghjoX2_GE
He would be very interested in the very mature milf and gilf sections we have available.
My favorite writing from any founding father is Ben Franklin writing to a younger friend urging them to take an older mistress. My man had an 8 point presentation on the virtues of fucking older ladies. My favorite saying from this is " In the dark, all cats are grey".
"Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are better stored with Observations; their conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable. "
"Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Man, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a thousand Services, small and great, and are the most tender and useful of Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an Old Woman who is not a good Woman. "
"Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience. "
"Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be inclined to excuse an old Woman, who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by her good Councils, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. "
"Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part. The Face first grows lank and Wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in the Dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and frequently superior; every Knack being by Practice capable by improvement. "
"Because the sin is less. The Debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy. "
“Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman happy.”
“8th & lastly. They are so grateful!!!”
New headcannon: that’s the ORIGIN of the saying, so anyone who uses it owes a piece of their vocabulary to Benny F’s GILF fetish 😄
He’s definitely watching the GILF category.
He’s having some trouble deciding
- shy wife of shaker priest next door gets spitroasted by two high degree free masons
- candle-making spinster has 9 trembling orgasms on her “custom wax figures”
I mean, set aside the slavery politics for just a minute, because that’s low hanging fruit.
Imagine showing Thomas Jefferson the Hoover Dam. Imagine introducing Thomas Paine to the internet. Imagine George Washington’s face illuminated by a mushroom cloud. How fucking dumb do you think Benedict Arnold would feel if you dropped him onto the deck of a US Aircraft Carrier. How flabbergasted would James Madison feel if you explained that we literally call it the “White House”, because we never changed the color after the British burned it down. What do you think Patrick Henry would have to say about Social Security?
FFS,
What would Hamilton think about his musical?
He wpuld write 5000 blog posts about it.
“I should have thrown away my shot…”
Thomas Paine is the only one I could tolerate hanging out with. The rest are getting pushed back into the time machine and sent to the Devonian period.
The rest are getting pushed back into the time machine and sent to the Devonian period.
Great. Now the sudden appearance of invasive modern bacteria just caused a mass extinction in the Devonian, the entire history of life on earth is changed, and the dominant life form is an amphibian of roughly chimpanzee intelligence.
Sounds like progress
I mean, the smell alone would be pretty horrible
Hey now, Paine would be a monster on TikTok
They would be horrified about the lack of slavery, women having rights, that we didn’t completely wipe out the natives and stuff like that the founders were monsters.
Pretty sure that’s what Madison Cawthorn’s saying
The real Ben Franklin if time travel was invented “JFC another one idk fuck off back to your OWN TIME, MAYBE?!”
“C’mon, Franklin, we’re going to Delaware.”
“Why should I?”
“For the drinking and the whoring.”
Ben immediately stands up “Alright, boys, we got no time to spare! We gotta get to Delaware!”
Imagine looking up to slavers from hundreds of years ago as your moral compass 🤮
Ben Franklin owned seven slaves early in his life, but later got rid of them, became an outspoken critic of slavery, and worked toward its abolition.
Also, slavery or not, the point still stands. They wouldn’t recognize America today and would be horrified.
FYI, I recognise America and am also horrified, if that helps.
Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.
If nothing would shock your ancestors, you have stagnated.
Of what?
There was a transgender Royal Governor of New York State.
Edward Hyde, served 1702 to 1708.
You’d know that if you actually studied US history.
Of what?
There was a transgender Royal Governor of New York State.
This may come as a shock to you, but the existence of trans people is not the only significant change that has happened here since the 1700s.
the existence of trans people is not the only significant change that has happened here since the 1700s.
You immediately assumed they held a position opposite of yours for no reason and then speak condescendingly to them, why? Maybe they think the founding fathers would be horrified by the same things you are horrified by. And even if they didn’t, they aren’t defending them, just stating the fact that they would indeed be horrified.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madison_Cawthorn
Funny thing. I happen to own an electronic device that allows me to search a thing called ‘the world wide webbing.’
Using my advanced OKJeeves search engine, I learned something about Ms. Crawford.
One thing I learned about Ms. Crawford is that they don’t think we should respect other people’s preferred personal pronouns, so to honor that I’ll refer to them as ‘Ms.’
“Bonomi concluded that Lord Cornbury’s crossdressing was likely invented by his political enemies as character assassination.”
And…?
My point was that the Founders would have been familiar with the idea of transgender. Also, most of them had studied the Classics, and would have known about Sappho and the initiation rituals of the Spartan warriors.
Homosexualism* wasn’t invented in the 20th Century.
*I can’t find the video, but I once heard William F. Buckley use that word and it’s lived in my head ever since.
“They were roommates!”
Sometimes it’s a “Sappho and her friend” situation, but it sounds like this guy was just a straight crook.
Franklin strikes me as a ThisVid type of guy. There’s fucking weird stuff on there, and he’d be so fucking into it
Weird how, exactly? 🤔
I think they’d be horrified women and black people can vote if anything. Oh and the state imposes some taxes on the rich; I bet that’d horrify them too.
So modern day Republicans, basically. Fuckers still have their hands around our throats.
Imagine if in another 250 years, the USA still has a system of government substantially similar to its present day form, but with a population of tens of billions spread across several planet Earths in alternate dimensions. Most people are wealthy enough to own a personal spaceship. Medicine has advanced to the point where doctors can bring you back from the dead as long as your brain is more or less in one piece. But now everyone judges the people of the 21st century for eating meat - it’s considered pretty much the worst thing that anyone can do. Maybe you’ll be convinced that you were wrong to eat meat, or maybe you won’t. Even if you’re convinced that you were wrong, maybe you’ll think that the people of the future should have left wild animals alone rather than intervening to eliminate predation. But overall you would probably think the future was going rather better than you expected…
we still cant even figure out if genocide is bad, i dont think human utopia is coming any time soon.
250 years isn’t that soon.
It’s only two and a half Henry Kissingers away
Tbf, nothing in that hypothetical suggests true utopia, maybe they have occasional crossdimensional wars fought with weapons that make nukes look like firecrackers or something
