THE CYLINDER MUST NOT BE HARMED!!!
I’m not sure how amused I am that I understand this reference.
The only way to get an accurate measurement is to cut the branch off first.
The cylindet MUST stay intact!
I came here to say this. Take your stupid upvote.
It is imperative that the cylinder and the larger object remain unharmed.
“It’s a meat cylinder”
But you’re supposed to measure it twice before that!
I just had some serious flashbacks to all the fucking Handy Manny I’ve watched. Thanks for that. 👍🏻
One each side I guess?
🎵Detachable tree branch🎵
Method A on account that that would be the maximum usable length
As a skilled carpenter who’s used to measuring wood, this is the only answer.
Well… It kinda depends. If I were to be ordering stock to recreate the branch or even if I were making a covering for the branch. I’d have to order at least 6 inches of material to cut down.
So I think it matters most how you are intending to use it.
Oh you’re a skilled carpenter? How much wood have you cut in your time
Half as much as they have measured, is my guess.
THIS ia getting philosophical… i mean, first of all, things don’t need to be cut perfectly in half every time they’re cut.
But then your answer is probably an estimate/approximation.
HOWEVER… when you cut one piece of wood into two, is not 100% of the wood cut into?
So either this carpenter measures 50% of his wood aimlessly, or you, sir, are a LIAR
I believe they were alluding to “measure twice, cut once”
🫠 I concede
This isn’t about measuring it so wrong that the number gets larger than it sheuld be?
Measure twice, cut once
I’m interested in your wood measuring services.
… For a friend
Usable length is relative…
*reverse cowgirl enters the room, galloping backwards and surprising everyone*
That’s not how it works with soft bodies though, method B represents potential useable length when pointing down. It’s only distorted because it’s pointing up. For rigid bodies, I’d agree.
Nobody cares how long the limp branches are.
Nobodies talking about the limp branches, soft and rigid bodies are a physics term and they don’t mean what you think they do.
It was a boner joke, I could not care less about what these words actually mean.
So… Non rigid?
Method C. Sounding rod depth required to hit the prostate.
I know it sounds odd to do this on a tree, but trust me, it works.
Thrust*
Depending on what he’s trying to measure. Both methods are correct for their respective sides.
Branches and other small cylinders can be sized using M&M tubes
Banana for scale
The cylinder must remain unharmed
Tear off the branch and measure the total length.
It is imperative that the branch not be damaged
It’s just a branch who cares? Mangle that fucker lol
Ok chop down the tree and cut a line perpindicular to the bottom of the branch into the tree. Then measure the branch with watever remains of the tree attached.
Would using a chainsaw count as “chop”?
I mean, chainsaws were invented to cut up the pubic area, so you wouldn’t be far off.
Because it’s oak-wilt season, right?
Unless you’re into that
The generally accepted method used by scientists is to firmly push your ruler against the base of tree at the top of the branch. This is called BPEL, or bark-pressed erect length.
Hehe hehe erect
Half the length plus seven
Woop woop, 7.5cm! A personal best.
it took me way to long to realize y’all talking about penises …
That’s so innocent. Almost like a certain mythical character before opening her eponymous box…
I thought it was optimal street pathways at first, then trees, then got surprised by the amount of genitalia referencing comments then I “realised” thanks to this comment TT
This was my process exactly!
Well, it’s two of us.
Loggers should be called arbortionists.
If you trim the bushes the branch looks bigger. Pro tip.
I’ll ask the branch manager.
What if there is a knot at the base of the branch?
Then you might be measuring a werewolf. Seek professional help.
(I am a professional and can help you measure the knot.)
;)
Burl wood can be quite valuable so you should try to keep that part in one piece
I would use 0,5x(A+B) because chicks dig a big branch.
