Paywall removed https://archive.is/imCDx

Fat isn’t compressible

How disrespectful to yoga pants

AICAB

I believe they were alluding to “measure twice, cut once”

They weren’t happy about Bernie and look at the fucking mess they caused.

Cop at the bottom of the frame just blasting away with zero thought to the others behind his target.

As long as you hold 10% or less of your assets in hotdogs it shouldn’t affect your credit. Putting ketchup on them can decrease your score with some reporting agencies.

It would take approximately 17 to 31 adult Dalmatians to equal the weight of an average adult cow, depending on the specific weights of the animals.

For me personally, there’s not enough

Spaghetti Goat Control would be a great band name

Tim Dillon did accept it, they canceled his spot when he accidentally/mistakenly advertised he would be in Abu Dhabi and they got offended.

Down the pants

This open statement that we’re no longer concerned with adhering to Geneva Convention standards should have made these military leaders sick.

The contradiction that we’re going to simultaneously hold all personnel to higher standards of grooming, fitness, etc while removing the obligation to adhere to any semblance of legal authority makes it crystal clear that cruelty is the point of all of this.

deleted by creator

You forgot the step where you scream at it while it cooks

Now do California Highway Patrol.

Split personality Batman who hates the rich would be amazing.

Just like there’s a machine that removes/places his helmet, his toilet has machinery that removes his codpiece and pulls down his pants for him. It’s also equipped with a full-service bidet.

Thanks to the third toot.