True Omnipotence
(Also read/listen to Worm
But only over dial-up.
But of an unrelated universe…so schizophrenia with delusions of grandure lol
Can communicate with any animal
But they can’t communicate with you
Haha imagine trying to explain that to people.
“I have a superpower, I can speak to animals they just can’t speak back” “But everyone has that superpower, I can do that too” “Yeh but I’m actually really talking to them, like in their language that they can understand” “How do you know?” “…”
I can teleport instantly to any location I have previously visited.
But each location has a specific song you must play on an Ocarina…
You don’t get to choose the location, it’s just a random place you’ve been before.
The United States of America after the Cold War.
But you live in Afghanistan
Ability to control every atom in the surrounding area of approx 1 km.
You can control only 1 at a time.
Nuclear bombs, or a really good scientist.
1 at a time wouldn’t get you a noticeable amount of energy for a bomb (stuff is radioactively decaying around you already right now). A scientist might make some use of it, but with control of only 1 atom at a time they’ll struggle to build really any molecule as I imagine most intermediate molecules would break apart as soon as you “let go” to grab the next atom.
Depends on what “time” is in case of one at a time. Is it plank time, or is it as fast as I can think the command.
Even if nothing can be achieved by controlling it, just being able to feel/see the atoms means I can figure things out as a scientist. Finding how atoms are arranged into molecules, proteins etc are super helpful
I assumed as fast as you can think the command for each one.
I agree with feeling being useful for feeling around; I’m happy with the power having some value.
Immunity from all replies to this post.
But you are incredibly smart. BOOM GOTEM.
Teleportation
But you lose one of your socks every time you teleport and they’re like really cool unique ones that only work as a pair. Heartbreaking.
Butt stuff is marginally less fun.
Really depends on the butt
crab claw
Only when jorkin it
Reading minds
But you have to start at the beginning.
You have no inhibitive filter, and compulsively blurt out whatever you’re thinking, including whatever the person is thinking when you’re reading their mind.
Master poet level fluency in all languages
You are now blind and deaf like Helen Keller. Good luck, she figured it out, you’ll be fine.
You can now hardly remember anything else (as happened to me, my memory is full of Chinese vocab with no space for anything else).
Terribly loud non-stop belching
So no new drawbacks, then? Sweet!
Switch sexes any time I prefer
… provided you are playing Uno and have a reverse card.
Every time you switch you have to peel off a layer of dead skin line a cocoon.
Seems like a small payment honestly
Depending on the person, this might be a bonus.
Damn that’s harsh. I didn’t expect that, it seems you have some great imagination.
I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules
The ability to change my own superpower.
This one doesn’t really need a monkey’s paw curse since, as written, I’d argue you could only change it once anyway, then you’d be stuck with that power.
Uncontrollable and overwhelming diarrhea whenever you use any of the chosen superpowers, which is immune to any kinds of “and I’m immune to the side effect” types of loophole powers.
I’ll stick with the strongest superpower of them all, I am Cables Never Tangle Man!
But you cannot tie knots anymore. Even worse - every knot you touch magically slips open. Be careful not to trip over your shoelaces!
Velcro has entered the chat…
So many tiny little knots
It’s going to look like a shag rug as soon as they touch it
Your cables break every 3 days
Every time you get an error it is unknown error
The power to talk to women without staring at their feet.
Instead you cannot stop staring at their boobs. And yes, that includes your family, bosses and so on.
deleted by creator
In long-dead languages they can’t understand
Deal. I’m Autistic so that’s barely any different.
you can only speak to them in languages they don’t understand.
Being a cat
You make noise every time you walk
Ok, it’s basically like my cat.
