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inari@piefed.zip to Memes@sopuli.xyzEnglish ·
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3 days ago

German joke

media.piefed.zip

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German joke

media.piefed.zip

inari@piefed.zip to Memes@sopuli.xyzEnglish ·
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3 days ago
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  • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    The funniest german joke is Deutsche Bahn…

  • MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    • lichtmetzger@discuss.tchncs.de
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      1 day ago

      That joke only works in German because “treffen” has two meanings: meet and hit.

      • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 day ago

        Ah so kind of like “a man walks into a bar and says ouch”

        • notthebees@reddthat.com
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          18 hours ago

          Or like, “a man walks into a bar. It was a closed casket funeral.”

        • Hadriscus@jlai.lu
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          1 day ago

          Yea same as “c’est l’histoire d’un gars qui rentre dans un café… et plouf”

  • Almacca@aussie.zone
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    16 hours ago

    May I present in counter-argument Henning Wehn

    • remon@ani.social
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      5 hours ago

      Well, we did have to send him to Britain for training … seriously though, probably my favourite German comedian.

  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    German jokes are the wurst

  • abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    So there are actually some German wartime jokes that are actually quite funny. Here’s some that I heard:

    • " Where I live there’s now a lot of warehouses, there were houses and there were houses, and there were houses!"
    • “How can you tell an optimist from a pessimist? The optimist is learning English and the pessimist is learning Russian.”
    • One day at the barracks there was a soldier on his knees looking around the ground, picking up random papers he found and going “no, no that’s not it”. His officer asked what he was doing, “I’m looking for my special paper”. He sent him to the doctor and he was declared insane, when the doctor gave him his discharge papers he explained “ah, there’s my special paper!”
    • kestrel7_7@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      These are gold, thank you for posting

    • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      How would a German joke work based on english homonyms?

      • AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml
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        1 day ago

        Germans hate humor so much that hey renamed “The Simpsons” to “Die Simpsons!”. “Die Simpsons!”!!

        • remon@ani.social
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          23 hours ago

          Die Bart, Die!

          • onionguy@lemmy.world
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            20 hours ago

            Noone who speaks German can be an evil man. Parole granted!

      • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        English and German derive from a common root language, so I’d honestly be surprised if there weren’t some that do.

      • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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        2 days ago

        So I went and googled it out of curiosity, after remembering that German for was/were (in some form anyway) is ‘war’.

        I found this in a thread about Downfall and a translated joke where someone was wondering what the original was:

        The German pun uses ‘Warenhaus’ department store and “Da war 'n Haus” - “there was/used to be a house”.

        • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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          2 days ago

          hm thanks

    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      these are wunderbar

  • Hadriscus@jlai.lu
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    1 day ago

    Women are always the recipients of all humor, as were their mothers, and their grandmothers before them, and as will be their daughters, and their granddaughters after them, for it is the will of the Elders

  • ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online
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    1 day ago

    My suggestion is to watch the documentary laughing with Hitler to see that not only do Germans have a scathing sense of humor, but also were willing to die for their jokes.

    • rumba@lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      The forklift training video was amazing.

      • ShotDonkey@lemmy.world
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        17 hours ago

        Klaus!

  • Waffelmeister@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Gottseidank heißt unser Führer nicht Kräuter. Sonst hieße es den ganzen Tag Heilkräuter! Heilkräuter!

    Karl Valentin

  • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Uwe Boll movies left a lasting scar on the image of Germans…

  • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    German humor is no laughing matter.

  • arotrios@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Another German banger I heard awhile ago:

    “Ask me if I’m a schoolbus.”

    “Are you a schoolbus?”

    “No.”

    • AeronMelon@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      So German humor is anti-meme?

      • furry toaster@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        it is post modern

        • CheesyFox@lemmy.sdf.org
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          1 day ago

          german humor is no laughing matter

          • Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 day ago

            But is also the wurst.

        • Geobloke@aussie.zone
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          20 hours ago

          It’s so derived

        • Zachariah@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          this is post is modern

        • dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works
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          2 days ago

          Modern.

  • Don Antonio Magino@feddit.nl
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    1 day ago

    Germans are funnier than the average American. American humour seems to amount to claiming you own random countries and then threatening military action.

    • Dr. Moose@lemmy.world
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      15 hours ago

      Honestly american humor has been on massive decline in the last 20 years despite increase of the overall comedy market. Particularly american standup is so bad these days despite bringing in stadiums of people. It’s so cringe: “they’re trying to cancel me yap yap yap”

    • samus12345@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      Careful throwing stones. That was German humor 80 years ago or so.

      • WizardOfFrobozz@lemmy.ca
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        16 hours ago

        Yeah, and we all agreed about what was necessary to stop them- but Americans chose cowardice.

        • samus12345@sh.itjust.works
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          5 hours ago

          No, they were stopped by outside force. I wish that could happen this time.

          • WizardOfFrobozz@lemmy.ca
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            3 hours ago

            Very cute to imply that “outside” is meaningful here, allowing you to pretend you’ve dodged responsibility

      • Don Antonio Magino@feddit.nl
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        deleted by creator

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      Unfortunately, the people who say that kind of shit are not joking.

  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One, they are an efficient people and lack a strong sense of humor

    • SirLeToet@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      Zero. Efficient germans use efficient LED.

      • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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        20 hours ago

        LED bulbs still exist and are more efficient to use than LED fixtures where you have to change the entire lamp instead of a bulb!

        In fact, I’ve got a room with six such fixtures and only one still works.

        • SirLeToet@lemmy.world
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          10 hours ago

          The LED bulbs barely die. I am still using first gen bulbs i bought over a decade ago. I’ve only had 1 die on me so far. Versus the monthly replacement of some heat bulbs and always having a box of spares around.

          Changing lightbulbs is kind of a thing from the past. Old fashioned fillament heat bulbs are hardly in use in Germany nowadays.

    • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world
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      24 hours ago

      What? Do lightbulbs get stuck if you tell a joke?

      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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        23 hours ago

        You must be German

        • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world
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          18 hours ago

          Probably partly. My last name is a German name, but I think we’re more Eastern European muts. I’ve never really gotten a clear answer.

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Poor lighting is no laughing matter.

  • Kushan@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Hey now, the Germans take humour very seriously! It’s no laughing matter.

  • Clutter@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    German people tell each other what they mean. We do not make a difference between man and woman in that. Perhaps that is why your woman do not trust you.

    I’m glad they laugh at you though.

    • whyderrito@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      They laugh with us. That means we laugh too. Should give it a try.

      • Clutter@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        I’m “taking the piss” (I think that is the phrase?)

        Because this person in the screenshot clearly has no respect for women.

        • whyderrito@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 day ago

          Agreed.

          Thanks for explaining joke.

          • Clutter@sh.itjust.works
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            1 day ago

            We find it makes jokes 108.6% more funnier.

            • whyderrito@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              1 day ago

              Efficiency!

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