• sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 days ago

      You have inspired my autism.

      Banana for scale?

      Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donut.

      Extremely standardized, as far as donuts go.


      Dimensions?

      Outer Diameter = ~4 inches

      Inner Diameter = ~ 1 inch

      Height = ~ 1.5 inches


      So…

      An approximately average, enthusiasticly participating man should be able to get 3 on there, with the uh, additional frosting nozzle still visible, or nearly so.

      2? Below average.

      1? Probably an actual, diagnosable micropeen.

      4? Above average.

      5? Something like 1 out of 10,000 in terms of how rare that level of above average is.

      … 6? More like 1 out of 1,000,000 in rarity.


      How snug is the fit?

      Somewhat snug?

      Average.

      Very snug, moderately noticable donut tearing?

      Above Average.

      Not snug? Loose?

      Below Average.

      • taiyang@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Great, we’re halfway to publishing this thesis! Let’s send your analysis to a Tier 1 research journal ASAP!

        /s :)

          • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            4 days ago

            Sounds good to me, lol!

            Economists have used the uh, “BigMac Index” with an increasing level of seriousness, over the last decades… so why not?

        • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 days ago

          I mean, there are lots of studies on the distribution of male donut pole sizes, I’m just doing a rough comparison to the latest meta-analyses of such data.

          I can provide sources…

          … if you give me a donut.

    • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      agreed. It might turn into a real thing. Dunkin Donuts could sell a “stack” of say 6 donuts, but it would not be straight top to bottom, but instead curved to better accomadate an erect penis

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        3 days ago

        I mean, a decade ago I would have laughed at the idea of this becoming real…

        … but a decade ago, I also thought it was a ludicrously absurd notion that an RGB ‘gamer’ catheter would exist.

        And they actually do now.

        So fuck it, why not?

        The US’s only real remaning cultural attribute is ‘utter depravity/shamelessness’, seems like a good fit to me.

        I await my Dunkin Stacking test lol, maybe they can do varying flavors and kinds of filling or jam, like a lipstick party that’s edible.

          • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            2 days ago

            So yes, i appear to have gotten got, the actual ‘rgb catheter’ is mostly satire…

            … but…


            expand for more detail, skip to tl:dr for 'summary'

            https://www.reddit.com/r/FortNiteBR/comments/i6ms9j/iv_catheter_for_20_hour_nonstop_gaming/

            https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/bwjkeris_it_weird_to_think_about_getting_a_catheter_for/

            https://www.classicarcadegaming.com/forums/index.php?topic=1345.0

            Posts like that show that there are a non zero amount of people seriously considering the concept of a catheter for video gaming.

            And…

            https://www.amazon.com/stadium-buddy/s?k=stadium+buddy

            https://www.amazon.com/s?k=stadium+buddy+for+women

            https://www.amazon.com/male-catheters-men/s?k=male+catheters+for+men

            Its not like fairly cheap catheter systems do not already exist for other purposes.

            And, there already exist a plethora of fairly cheap, silicone / rubber cock sleeves with vibrators of various kinds.

            Ever heard of an LED light strip?

            Or a sex toy with a light to indicate whether its on or off, what mode its in, what power level its at?


            … I would argue it would be entirely possible to design some kind of rgb, gaming catheter, manufacture it and sell it for not too much money.

            And I’d also argue that if you actually did this seriously, with a decent marketing campaign… people would buy it.

            Add some vibrating component to it and now you also have perhaps a … more enticing sell, to people who both rarely touch grass, and ass.

            … Add some kind of BT component, and a networked software interface that uses the open standard for sex toys api…

            And now you can have your “friend” in VRChat or SecondLife or whatever, well they can give you a … more immersive… “private dance”.

            Teledildonics is a thing, has been for a while.

            Some years ago, a device with a bunch of differently actuated… joints, basically, more or less around a silicone sleeve type thing… well, its more or less a blowjob simulator, and IIRC, it has an accompanying dildo analogue, that serves as a sort of control input, if you want to change from the sort of preset bj types, to a … manual, custom one.

            There also exist many kinds of, usually aimed at women, insertable vibrators with a networked remote capability…decent amount of couples literally get off on the idea of one being able to turn the vibe on remotely.


            tl;dr:

            So I guess basically I’m more or less giving the proverbial elevator pitch for:

            If an RGB gaming catheter/sex toy device does not already exist, it very easily could, there are established markets for similar devices, manufacturing processes are well established for these devices, and you likely could make and sell various feature tiers of these things for profit.

            Further, more and more people are permaonline, have never had a real sexual encounter with a real person face to face… there already exist open api standards for remotely networked sex toys… just make them work with something like VRChat, or make your own game, and, voila! you can now take your cybersex / sexting to a whole new level.

            Oh, you’re worried its just from an NPC / Bot / some kind of LLM trained to execute this task, so its not “authentic”?

            … why? Who cares, ultimately?

            You could say we’re just talking about custom controllers for a new subset of immersive simulator games:

            Pair this with having a flight sim and a full on simpit for a flight sim, and well, let the ‘cockpit’ jokes flow.


            Degenerate? Cringe? Gross?

            Fundentally rewriting millenia of human socialization and relationship norms?

            Sure, I guess.

            But, that does seem to be the zeitgeist of our rapidly cyberpunkifying times.

            … And you probably could make money with it, and that is apparently the only thing that actually matters.

            Uh… something something … “market disruption” … something something … “innovative new frontier of technology”.