Well the bacon fat does help the aspirin slide in so it makes sense to me.

I doubt she’d want me standing to that on the toilet either so standing shits are unfortunately delegated to the bathtub and waffle stomp treatment

I cannot effectively rest until a reasonable amount of my shit is done, but i work 6 days a week, 10-12 hours a day so I have no choice but to be productive on my one day off. I’ve been so busy I’ve been getting chores done a bit at a time during rests on my work out days to try to catch up.

I’ve been seeing a girl recently and been trying to sit rather than stand. She owns her own home alone so to me it feels very rude to piss all over the floor and seat, even if its just a drop or two that gets away from the bowl. If i wanna stand so badly I’ll just go with her dogs in the yard.

So what, you expect people to just not use the urinals provided and instead wait 5 minutes for a stall to open up then have to clean the taco bell spray from the last guy in there before you can get your business done?

And if its hot and humid you’re screwed. I love being physically active but i literally need to bring a second shirt if its warmer than 25C and even just a little humid. Especially if i have a backpack which i almost always do. I can wring the sweat out of the back of my shirt after 20 minutes on days like that.

When in doubt press it down. Thats what i do when going with a chubb.

I usually just try to spread cheek on the toilet, using the seat to lock the spread in place

If they don’t have cocks, then they probably don’t have balls, which means they have nowhere to store their pee and therefore never have to pee.

I just don’t want to piss on other peoples floor. Its one thing to piss on my floor and for me to clean it up, its another thing to piss on someone elses floor and expect them to clean it up.

I was stand wiper as a kid cause i never knew any better i guess. Someone told me you could reach around and clean before the cheeks close together and it blew my mind and I’ve never looked back.

I scoot forward or slide back to get a finger down there if needed, usually scooting back and going in from the side of the package. If my business is done i can slide back far enough that my butthole is over the seat and spread pretty wide. When standing i got my pants and underwear in the way and gotta bend the knees and spread the thighs a bit to get a good angle while trying to aim that last squirt.

No I’m thinking a normal toilet. Maybe if you are on the shorter side you can get a more favorable angle but otherwise the piss stream hits the porcelain at a nearly perpendicular angle and sprays nearly everywhere. Not as drastically as in the water but enough i can sometimes feel the mist if I’m in shorts.

Plus you might not have to turn on the lights which helps a lot to go back to bed.

You’re still getting piss out of the bowl if you’re on the sides. Its not as drastic as the center but its still a stream hitting a fairly flat surface from a decent height.

Sitting also gives better access to push on the part between the balls and butthole which can reduce post piss drippage.

Is this not a free country?

Have you tried bunching the dress up and tucking it under your arms to expose your bottom half? Not trying to judge just seems like that might be easier.

I stand most of the time. I sit when exhausted or when i know my spray won’t be good, or if I have gas I don’t trust to be just gas. I’ve also been trying to get into the habit of sitting when at a woman’s house/apartment. It just doesn’t seem fair for me to make a mess with splashback, especially if they don’t live with any men. Unless I’m doing some of the cleaning it seems more fair to just sit and get the business done that way. Plus this way I’ll never leave the seat up.

Maybe biased here but as a 30 year old man, i get more sleep now but am still more exhausted than when i was in my 20s. Life, work, and stress all take their tolls.

Some things that may help you as they help me when I’m low on energy.

• yoga or exercise. If I’m having a slow start to the day this can really get my blood pumping and wake me up better than sitting on the couch and drinking coffee. It also helps mid/late day. An early evening walk can counter intuitively increase my energy and motivation. The yoga is espcially nice on my days off where i just can’t get my day started.

• a healthy diet/eating regularly. If I eat like crap i feel lethargic. If i eat a lot of sugar the crash afterwards is rough. Regular meals made with real ingredients, even if I’m not feeling that hungry, helps a lot. Reducing processed sugar and increasing fruit in my diet helped a lot. Now a pack of strawberries will actually give me a bit of a sugar buzz.

• consistent sleep schedule. 8 hrs of sleep at a different time each week is not nearly as restful as 7 hours at the regular times. Sometimes im up late or up early due to how my work day or personal life went but most days i try to sleep and wake at the same time. If my alarm is set for 6:30 and i woke at 6 feeling okay, ill often feel better getting up at 6 than i would snoozing til 6:30. If I’m not tired but my bedtime is 9, i try to go to bed anyway. I’ll read a boring book or something to help me get to sleep.

From your other comments I’m also thinking you may have fried your bodies natural energy levels and homeostasis from excessive caffiene intake. It will suck for a few days/weeks but i would try to quit cold turkey and see what comes of it. You can work your way back up to caffeine if you feel comfortable later on.

A different drug but similar effect, i will often take tolerance breaks from marijuana as i find the benefits i get from it diminish with excessive use, the same is true for many drugs.