Like 95% sure. Like talked to my therapist about it. Anybody have stories to tell or anything? Thanks :)
My cousin and his wife did this and then they got a girlfriend and then the wife got dumped by my cousin and the new girlfriend
I’ve been poly most of my adult life and I love it. My biggest advice is to have boundaries, avoid drama, and avoid culty polycules. Also make sure you have you time.
My wife and I both just aren’t cut out for the restriction of monogamy even if we’re only seeing each other at the moment
Right now my husband of 15 years is 500km away with his girlfriend of 25 years. And I’m pissed because they’re having sushi and there’s no sushi restaurant around us. I want sushi.
That’s my latest poly story. I don’t mind that he’s having a romantic weekend with another woman (well, I’m happy for them), but I’m jealous of their dinner.If you want a poly relationship that works it has to start poly. It is very common for someone just getting into poly to hurt a nonpoly persons feelings by trying to be “suddenly” poly.
Why do you think that polyamory is the path for you?
I’m asking purely out of curiosity with no intended intonation into it. What about it is more interesting or enjoyable to you?
Hi there~ I’ve been in a polyamorous//specifically practicing ethically non monogamy for 8 years, 5 of which have been with the same 2 partners. Polyamory takes a lot of communication, a lot of feels come up, but the personal growth from it, and the lovely experiences have been so totally worth it. It’s freeing in a lot of ways, and feels like a major heart expansion personally
Hey! Almost two years into my first poly relationship with two other people. I went in when they had already been a couple for some years now, and that has brought some insecurities, but we’ve been able to talk through them.
If you’re up to try, that’s great! But I have to warn you that there will be a lot of communication and misunderstandings, setting boundaries and constant work for you and your partners to be better people and better partners.
For me it has been quite hard, because I:'very accidentally crossed boundaries through misunderstandings and that has brought a lot of harm, but I’ve also learned a lot and live them very much.
Good luck on your journey and lots of love!
I’ve given it a try and had a variety of experiences. It is not the way I intuitively relate to partners but it has been enjoyable as a practice that I have grown from
But I will probably return to monogamy. Either next relationship (last poly connection ended a couple days ago) or some time in the future. But for many people it is a revelation that you can do relationships that way.
It does require a lot of emotional maturity and willingness to work really hard at relationship building and personal growth though. If you go through with pursuing it, I hope it serves you well or that you positively grow and learn from the experience ❤️
My experience is that there are a lot of people who tell you “how it’s done” and they get very weird about the rules. I understand that comes from their experiences and the general aversion of wanting to not be associated with “poly couple hookup types” you see on Tinder or wherever.
I am poly, but typically just date solo. I’ve joined poly couples as a third, but it’s never really felt right for me; I don’t like hierarchical dating.
My dream relationship is a triad, but my god is that hard to find. I just want my little throuple commune in the woods. :3
I was sort of in a throuple once and it turned into a huge disaster lol. Also didn’t help that we were all living in a 2 br house with 5 people and a dog.
Yeah I did a tried and it blew up. But triads are like that. They’re really good when they’re good and they’re a disaster when they’re not going well, unless you’re really good at relationship skills.
When I first met some poly people at university, it blew my mind. At first, I couldn’t imagine myself in that kind of relationship, because I struggle with insecurity and expected that I would find that worsened by being polyamorous.
I came to realise that because polyamorous relationships tend to require a greater level of communication and emotional intelligence, that this was actually probably an easier dynamic for someone like me. Key to this was the understanding that if I’m feeling emotionally neglected by a partner, then that’s between them and me, and doesn’t need to involve comparisons to my partner’s other partner(s).
I ended up identifying as a relationship anarchist in the end. It feels more comfortable than either monogamy or straightforward polyamory. In practice, the only difference it makes is in how I think about myself, but that matters to me
I’m pretty similar to this. And I also didn’t expect to follow relationship anarchy
In the end, I was just following along towards the logical conclusion of what I thought of relationships, and what felt right to me. And maybe it’s because I already look at the world from an anarchist lens, but as you said, if there’s any issue with a partner, then that is between them and me, and I don’t feel like it’s necessarily relevant for me what is happening between them and someone else (so long as they’re like, decent enough people that I’m okay associating with)
Paradoxically, it makes me feel safer in a relationship. I know they’re not just with me out of a sense of obligation, but because they genuinely enjoy bring with me, same way a friend is. They’re not beholden to some social contract, and are perfectly free to pursue another connection in addition to ours if they feel it’s right. And same for me. It means that I don’t have to feel like I have to artificially stop myself if I meet someone I like. It’s liberating. It’s what I could describe as a feeling of freedom. But of course, freedom does not mean freedom from responsibilities. It doesn’t give you the right to neglect people
Then there’s things like, not having all your eggs in your basket, or having people who engage with different aspects of yourself, and so on. Though that’s less central
But of course, there’s practical limits. We don’t have infinite time or energy. Freedom only goes so far. But it’s important to me that I don’t feel restrained by social concepts of how a relationship should look like, but rather from simply what me and a partner would want in one. And freedom does have a price. It’s not freedom for everyone, and it is less stable. It’s just that for me it’s worth it, and feels quite right
I just got into my first poly relationship with two other trans girls and they were a couple before me. Feels perfectly fine and natural so far even if I was fiercely mono before transitioning and they even talk about moving in together without me. I totally get that’s not for everyone and I certainly couldn’t have handled it in the past.
That said, I have no idea where this is going or if it’s a good idea in the long run. Embracing the unknown because I’ve always rolled like that. Pain is temporary and chicks dig scars kind of a deal. Do chicks dig emotional scars too? How about guys since I’m pan? 😅
To be a bit more serious, I think you probably need to have a pretty strong sense of self worth if poly is going to work for you. Not sure I fit that description precisely, but I feel a lot better about myself than I did before so I’m cautiously optimistic.
My partner and I are nominally poly, but it fell apart last time. Basically, the metamour got a good job in another state, and my partner wants to stay here to care for his aging parents.
