My partner likes it when I dress in a blue fur suit and start talking like cookie monster.
She then says something like “do you want a cookie, cookie monster?”
I then say (again, in the voice of cookie monster) “me not a cookie monster. Me a pussy monster!” And start enthusiastically eating her out.
Just something to consider.
What if I don’t want to consider?
I would like to unconsider
To unconsider Pussy Monster Facts, please text “No More Pussy Monster” to (202)-456-1414
The guy at that number will grab up all the pussy facts you got.
That’s very considerate of you
Cookie is already a slang term for pussy, you can skip that step.
Are we saying nothing about the fact his eyes point in different directions?
omni-directional free range cookie awareness.
Question: do people still use the term “lazy eye”, or is that considered ableist?
You could call it amblyopia.
It’s kind of fun to say. The syllables roll over each other like wet pumpkin seeds.
Most people won’t know what you’re talking about, unless you hang out with a lot of eye nerds. You’ll probably find yourself saying, “… which is the medical term for ‘lazy eye’ …” all the time.
I just googled “amblyopia” and the result came up as:
Lazy Eye
Also called: amblyopia
Cookie demonstrates strabismus, misaligned eyes, specifically exotropia, pointing outward. While this can cause amblyopia or lazy eye, they’re different things.
I have had a lazy eye (one that doesn’t work well with my brain, so I have crap depth perception) as a child because it was much more nearsighted than the other, and now because of cataracts and floaters. But it aligns properly.
Cookie also has a more unique and adorable quality of “googly eyes,” in that they can bounce around randomly before returning to their basic misaligned position.
I’m not sure it counts as ableist since “lazy” is at the eye not the person, and I found it a helpful description when I was a child. But using the medical term shows you’re trying, and of course it’s best to get the person’s preference.
Industrious eye
Alternately directional eye?
Duh. He literally lives in the void below the scene. He would have to have eyes like that.
Maybe off topic, but perhaps Cookie Monster will back me up:
Grandma’s house might have Limp Bizkit lyrics displayed in it if Etsy is any indicator. I feel old. I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.
How else is he supposed to get those Wheels?
Here’s one for you;
“Uncanny Valley.” Why do we have a lizard brain level instinct to be wary of/uncomfortable around things that look almost human?
At what point in our evolutionary history was being afraid of something that looks nearly human, but not quite, a useful survival trait?
Were we preyed upon by something that looks almost human for long enough to evolve an instinctive warning?
Boring answer is that dead people carry diseases so it is evolutionarily beneficial to stay away from them.
is corpses and the diseased. something that looks almost human but not quite is likely going to get you sick.
there’s a reason why waxy skin that doesn’t quite sit on the body correctly sets it off so hard.
There was a time when Sapiens and Neanderthals co-existed…
Maybe.
Never had that reflex triggered in me when presented with renders of what we think neanderthal looked like though.
Sample size of one means nothing though, so, yeah, maybe.
And we mated with them, so apparently we weren’t too afraid.
Not necessarily, it’s common to “mate” as part of war and conquest. Usually there’s a more descriptive word for it, though.
Yeah, but traditionally you don’t fuck people that give you Uncanny Valley vibes.
Don’t kink shame.
And yet we have plenty of humans who are jorkin it to poorly made, uncanny AI porn. So… I don’t know anymore.
Yes, it’s called the present, and the Neanderthals have control of the White House.
Not necessarily aquatic. It’s an adaptation to always standing behind a table or bushes or something.
I just typed in “ambush predator” into google images and the first hundred images are just the Predator from Predator
Maybe proto-Cookie Monters lived high on the treetops and forward facing eyes allow them to see in three dimensions and to judge accurately distance and depth.
All I can think about is how they made that inverse colour version. I’m thinking reduce the blue channel to 0, then do the invert?
When he’s not eating cookies, he’s eating the flesh of his fellow muppets…
