Official explanation: The Holy Spirit narrated to the author. This can be quite removed, some books were written many years after the event, some were passed down.
A few centuries later, the Council of Nicea went through all of these texts and decided, “This is real, we can tell, we’re putting this in the Bible. That… that other stuff is fake, yuck! Gross. Heresy.”
They also resolved a pressing issue for the new church. “Priests, please stop cutting your balls off, that is a metaphor, not literal instruction. Even though He said that they were literal instructions, that was also a metaphor.”
“Oh, just one more thing… you can’t get married. No, He didn’t say that, but we’re inspired by the Magic Bird, so mote it be.”
My favorite bit of Christian lore is the time that predestination became a widespread belief. People cursed god and the church and sinned 30x harder, recognizing that if they did it, they were always meant to. In the absence of choice, people found hedonism not just agreeable but compulsory. Then the church solved that issue by telling people that they could actually get into heaven by paying. People got so pissed off that a sect splintered off, and I think that how we got Protestants.
Someone please tell me how many different events I erroneously mixed together.
Luther and Calvin started off with Niecea and Trinity are complete BS mistranslations of original greek, and you can be your own priest = “conscience interpreting Jesus words as meaningful”. It ended up with Trinity is best, and only Calvin was allowed to be his own priest, and you should be killed for having believed the first version. I don’t know about paying for sin, but how else can a pastor get a G6?
The book of Enoch often features in nutty ancient aliens content. Extra terrestrial beings and hand held devices and so on.
It’s important context for the canonical bible. Imagine you find a bunch of scrolls in urns in a cave and it’s basically an anthology of short stories from the star wars realm. You cut out the ones that just seem too crazy and the ones that contradict others, and then call the rest your special nutty history.
Lower-case apocrypha are extra-canonical religious writings, which cover a wide range of ancient texts in Christianity.
“The Apocrypha” is applied to a specific set of books that are accepted in various configurations by the Catholic, Orthodox and Eastern churches but are rejected from the Biblical canon by many Protestant denominations. Those are the ones you can find between the Old and New Testaments in some Bibles.
IiRC it was more so that the Church got actual fiefdoms and wanted control so that potential priestly families wouldn’t just distance themselves into secular noble houses, taking lands with them.
Fiefdoms and related duties originated from kings, so the church wanted similar parallel rights over their vassal priests.
To be fair, the “You can’t get married” issue happened seven hundred years later under Gregory the Seventh, and at the time, the other patriarchs who remained following the rise of Islam thought the Archbishop of Rome, the Pope, was nuts too. Which is why Coptic and Greek Orthodox priests can marry, along with Protestant priests. All arguing “Christ never said you needed to absolutely forgoe sex, that was Paul and Peter.”
If you read through the list of canons you linked, none of them mentions a list of books that are to be considered part of the bible. The “canons” listed are basically just rules about different things in the church and were put in place to address splits that were forming as the church grew. The books of the bible were not in any way decided at Nicaea.
What? I’m not sober so it’s very possible I’m just bring stupid and not understanding the words, they just make no sense to me at the moment and I can’t figure out what you were trying to write (in the case of me not being dumb right now).
It means that the church failed to destroy records about how the stuff they peddle wasn’t written anywhere near the events they supposedly describe. You’re supposed to spend years studying the book upon threat of physical violence or death until you reach a point where you’re too invested in the mythos to bother questioning it. You’re supposed to NOT study all the figures that we have written records of that predate the jesus myth:
Official explanation: The Holy Spirit narrated to the author. This can be quite removed, some books were written many years after the event, some were passed down.
A few centuries later, the Council of Nicea went through all of these texts and decided, “This is real, we can tell, we’re putting this in the Bible. That… that other stuff is fake, yuck! Gross. Heresy.”
They also resolved a pressing issue for the new church. “Priests, please stop cutting your balls off, that is a metaphor, not literal instruction. Even though He said that they were literal instructions, that was also a metaphor.”
“Oh, just one more thing… you can’t get married. No, He didn’t say that, but we’re inspired by the Magic Bird, so mote it be.”
You probably think I’m joking… but sadly, no.
p.s. the church pays no taxes womp womp
My favorite bit of Christian lore is the time that predestination became a widespread belief. People cursed god and the church and sinned 30x harder, recognizing that if they did it, they were always meant to. In the absence of choice, people found hedonism not just agreeable but compulsory. Then the church solved that issue by telling people that they could actually get into heaven by paying. People got so pissed off that a sect splintered off, and I think that how we got Protestants.
Someone please tell me how many different events I erroneously mixed together.
Luther and Calvin started off with Niecea and Trinity are complete BS mistranslations of original greek, and you can be your own priest = “conscience interpreting Jesus words as meaningful”. It ended up with Trinity is best, and only Calvin was allowed to be his own priest, and you should be killed for having believed the first version. I don’t know about paying for sin, but how else can a pastor get a G6?
I can for money… Otherwise, enjoy the orgy!
You mean the four authors who all wrote the same story but slightly different?
Holy spirit talking to people must have been common back then. Strange how it just stopped.
It didn’t stop, we just understand it as psychosis these days.
So, everyone had, until 3000 years ago, schizophrenia induced by gods and were comanded by gods? That’s some wild mental gymnastic he did…
Flagging for best-of-lemmy
Some of the other writings that didn’t make the cut for the canonical bible are wild.
Bet a non canonical bible with only cut content is a way better book.
The Bible: Extended Cut
deleted by creator
The book of Enoch often features in nutty ancient aliens content. Extra terrestrial beings and hand held devices and so on.
It’s important context for the canonical bible. Imagine you find a bunch of scrolls in urns in a cave and it’s basically an anthology of short stories from the star wars realm. You cut out the ones that just seem too crazy and the ones that contradict others, and then call the rest your special nutty history.
thats called the bible with apocrypha, and youre right its way better
Lower-case apocrypha are extra-canonical religious writings, which cover a wide range of ancient texts in Christianity.
“The Apocrypha” is applied to a specific set of books that are accepted in various configurations by the Catholic, Orthodox and Eastern churches but are rejected from the Biblical canon by many Protestant denominations. Those are the ones you can find between the Old and New Testaments in some Bibles.
It’s not at all confusing.
thanks for elaboraring! always nice to get real context, im just yapping from memory :P
Well, he didn’t say you can’t rape little boys…
Wait what? Really? I mean I figured. Just…it was basically like that?
Didn’t that one come later because certain members of the clergy were having kids and functionally turning their positions into hereditary fiefdoms?
IiRC it was more so that the Church got actual fiefdoms and wanted control so that potential priestly families wouldn’t just distance themselves into secular noble houses, taking lands with them.
Fiefdoms and related duties originated from kings, so the church wanted similar parallel rights over their vassal priests.
there’s a whole section of the library called fiction
it’s going to blow your mind
To be fair, the “You can’t get married” issue happened seven hundred years later under Gregory the Seventh, and at the time, the other patriarchs who remained following the rise of Islam thought the Archbishop of Rome, the Pope, was nuts too. Which is why Coptic and Greek Orthodox priests can marry, along with Protestant priests. All arguing “Christ never said you needed to absolutely forgoe sex, that was Paul and Peter.”
FYI, the council of Nicea had nothing to do with biblical canon. That’s a common misconception.
Feel free to correct me with any source! I am interested.
(it says canon for some reason)
https://www.papalencyclicals.net/councils/ecum01.htm
If you read through the list of canons you linked, none of them mentions a list of books that are to be considered part of the bible. The “canons” listed are basically just rules about different things in the church and were put in place to address splits that were forming as the church grew. The books of the bible were not in any way decided at Nicaea.
If you would like to read more and/or correct me on anything, I’m pulling from https://www.britannica.com/event/First-Council-of-Nicaea-325 and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea
The Council of Nicaea did not decide the books of the canon, it decided on whether Jesus was equal to God or not…
“This can be quite removed”
What? I’m not sober so it’s very possible I’m just bring stupid and not understanding the words, they just make no sense to me at the moment and I can’t figure out what you were trying to write (in the case of me not being dumb right now).
“Quite removed” in terms of time.
It means that the church failed to destroy records about how the stuff they peddle wasn’t written anywhere near the events they supposedly describe. You’re supposed to spend years studying the book upon threat of physical violence or death until you reach a point where you’re too invested in the mythos to bother questioning it. You’re supposed to NOT study all the figures that we have written records of that predate the jesus myth: