In the red corner, hailing from Colorado and standing at five foot six, louder than a 12-gauge, dumber than a whole box of Facebook marketplace rifle suppressors masquerading as fuel filters; she’ll knock your socks off just so her husband can sniff your feet (but only if you’re under 16); the undeniably uneducated; universally unloved… Lauren “Ppppppplaaaaan B” Booooooooooebert.
In the other red corner, all the way from god-knows-where-and-we-wish-she’d-go-back-already; she’s got on more makeup than a dumpster full of Sephora customer returns; she’s been evicted from every trailer park in the greater Dalton metro area; the immortal god-Queen of the international association of Karens; Marjorie Taylor “White Trash Barbie” Grrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeen!
Which one is most likely to use a steel chair first? And can this please be a Hell in a Cell match
My money is on Marge for the first chair strike. Boebert looks like a a hair puller.
For some reason I see her in Ultimate Warrior makeup screaming nonsense about launching a rocket to destroy the Jewish space lasers. I’m tempted to call Boebert Shawn Michaels but she’s not in the same galaxy of talent or ability in anything as HBK in the ring
The Green-Boebert match is sponsored by Monster Energy Drinks, Fan Duel, and Crypto /s
Brought to you by Carl’s Jr. Home of the EXTRA BIGASS FRIES!!
Carl’s Jr: Fuck you, I’m eating!
Let them fight.
Unfortunately, there’s a whole sub-section of Republican men who would love nothing more than to see that. And it would make them support them even more.
Not a republican, but I staunchly support anything that potentially ends with christian nationalists putting each other in the hospital. Let them fight.
No, they were talking about people who would be turned on by the cat fight.
More time spent beating off at work is less time spent legislating. Still cool.
That’s why I was 100% fine with Trump playing as much golf as possible while president.
We need a reboot of celebrity death match, now more than ever.
But this time, make it live action rather than claymation.
But this time, make it live action rather than claymation.
we keeping on trucking to the idiocracy timeline, i see.
To note, President Comacho was far, far kinder, wiser and more humble than any MAGA politician.
Idiocracy was a documentary from the future
Are we taking bets?
I mean, Marge would win no question. She’s built like a brick shit house.
Hard agree. She got a Neanderthal brow and club-hefting arms. Plus, meth strength.
With a personality to match
Will this be before or after the Musk Zuck fight?
Which one is the main event?
That one got cancelled because Elron’s mommy said he couldn’t.
One can only hope for a long and brutal fight, much damage. Mutual annihilation would be great. Pass the popcorn.
(popcorn crunching noises)
Making popcorn…
What’re the odds one of them pulls a gun mid fight?
Boebert shoots like a Star Wars Stromtrooper and can’t hot the broadside of a barn.
Yeah I don’t think she’ll kill Greene, but I do think she might hit a colleague or at the very least get extremely arrested.
#SteveScalisesOtherLeg
I think we should give them both Bowie knives and tell them to go at it, and may the most reprehensible person lose/win.
Poison daggers, a la Dune.
I’m going to add that they need to be tied together a la Smooth Criminal.
Celebrity death match!
They’re going to have to start charging pay-per-view on C-Span.
I mean YouTubers are boxing each other so why not politicians.
I’d actually pay to watch that instead of youtubers
