they are married, some with children, own their own condos, houses, or are paying a mortgage, but can still live a normal life, own a car, some even have the luxury of not having to work 40 hours a week, but 32 because they don’t need to work more, house already paid, family and life objectives achieved.

Do you actually want these things as well or do you just feel inferior when comparing your life to theirs?

You have more money stashed than the majority of people in the US. You could do practically anything you wanted to with enough conviction and a steady job and that much in savings.

The only person you should be comparing yourself to is your past self. Life isn’t a competition, you’re meant to find joy within it. That’s where I would start if I were you.

Most of the indicators you’re talking about are, in my opinion, superficial markers of adulthood. Do you show up for the people you care about? Do you fulfill your commitments? Do you look for opportunities to grow and improve? Do you do the hard thing you need to do instead of the easy thing?

These are the traits that make you an adult, not how many kids you have or whether you own or rent housing. You can have 10 kids or none and still be an adult. You can own, rent, or live in your parents’ basement and still be an adult. You can’t be making promises you don’t keep or always taking the easy way out and be an adult. Those other things are all vanity metrics.

First just take that 100k of rainy day funds and get it into a high yield savings account at like 3-4% APY - that should at least give some solace that it’s not evaporating at the rate of inflation.

I’m older than you and unmarried, no kids, renting. I don’t feel like a kid, though. I feel old. I understand being scared of retiring without enough, but if you can find a small house in good condition at a reasonable price, I think it would be okay to take on a mortgage with as much as you’ve saved. You shouldn’t ask your dad for financial help, though, IMO. Money complicates relationships. Don’t add feeling beholden to feeling unloved.

As someone with far less and fully satisfied, there is truly no standard. The idea of always wanting or needing more is something that is pushed upon us at a massive societal level. If you have the things you truly need, you can work towards things you want, and if you have the things you want, congrats. You’re there. It is an option to feel like you need more than what you have once your essentials are met. No one other than yourself actually cares if you’re ambitious and if you don’t get satisfaction from the ambition to pursue more, then don’t.

You are doing better than most with 100k in the bank. I wouldn’t sweat it much.

Just turned 47. Divorced 15 years. Still single. I often feel the same way. Buying a house now in this market is insanity. Hopefully, real estate should crash again at some point.

You are doing very well. I got married at 42. It’s the only time I’ve been married and was the worst mistake I’ve ever made. I love my spouse very much, but it was still a very big mistake. Don’t envy those people. Being lonely is still easier, and kids suck. Go get married and see how fast you save money then. You’ll be fucked.

Daaamn, you have a hundred grand?

I’m almost 41 and you’re doing better than I am!

You don’t sound atypical to me. The millennial generation is buying houses later and starting families later, or not able or willing to do either one. $100k in the bank is doing far better than most your age. At least in the US, something like 50% of people are living paycheck to paycheck, and wouldn’t be able to pay a $1000 emergency expense.

Don’t take this as financial advice, but it seems there is evidence that all the housing speculation is nearing an end. There is a lot of supply that is currently just being sat on by companies who are hoping demand catches up again. But we’re starting to see a rise in foreclosure rates, and it’s suspected to go up through the year.

Many people in their 30s-40s have instead been spending their money on things like pokemon and sports betting. I recommend going to your bank or credit union and just putting the money in some kind of high yield savings account for now. Again, not financial advice, but I would not buy a house right now.

The potential exception would be if trump deliberately triggers mass inflation in an attempt to “offset” a market collapse. In which case…I don’t know how it shakes out in the end, but it can’t be good for anyone holding USD…

I just want to second the comment here about a high yield savings account, or even a CD. They’re both low/no risk investments. If the money you have is just sitting there you might as well be getting interest on it and a high yield savings, or a CD, aren’t exposed to the market so you can only lose if the bank shuts down and the FDIC can’t reimburse you, but if that happens we all have much bigger issues to worry about lol

I’m in a much worse situation than you, also at 40, so I definitely feel your pain here. Single, renting a garage “apartment,” working a shitty dead end factory job, and no inheritance to ever expect to receive. I too don’t feel like a real adult, but a failure of a human. So you’re not alone there for sure.

If you have 100k saved in liquid cash, you definitely need to be investing that in broad scale index funds. Keeping it liquid means inflation is going to be eating away at your money over time, which is really not good. The whole market is pretty out of balance due to AI, but it’s better to get in now rather than trying to wait and see. You have time to recover from market crashes, just don’t panic sell if the market crashes.

If financial stuff isn’t your thing, you can also save for retirement in prefabbed vehicles called Target-Date Funds. These are kinda annoying as they have a decent amount of fees, but you basically set a retirement goal date, and they will automatically rebalance more and more conservatively over time. However, you are at a bit of a disadvantage if you start at 43. I’d recommend saving aggressively if you can afford to.

Renting vs buying is always a thing, and it highly depends where you live. Having money for a down payment is good, but I’d consider what 100k invested right now would do for you until you are 80 vs what a house would do for you instead. 40 years of interest could be better than a significant debt load, even with several market crashes.

Fwiw, if you don’t have a spouse or kids, I don’t really see much value in a house. Rent a cheap one bed and laugh all the way to the bank when a water pipe breaks and you don’t have to cover 75k in water damage.

If you want a house, you have 100k in the bank and could put some of that down as a down payment. Idk where you live or what your housing market is like, but if you could find a smaller place for a reasonable price, you may pay less on a mortgage than on rent, and you’d be building equity.

When I bought my first house over a decade ago, I think it was under 100k, but wasn’t large. I don’t think I put anything down other than the earnest money. Because I wasn’t at 20% down, I did have to pay for PMI as part of my mortgage, but it was like $50 a month given the cost of our place. I’ve since moved and purchased two house since then, rolling the equity from the previous to the new one. My current mortgage payment is the first time I’m paying more monthly than when I was renting, but houses do have maintenance you have can’t offload on a landlord. I think it’s still significantly cheaper in the long run, but moreso the equity is the biggest upgrade.

For retirement, it’s definitely good to invest what you have saved, to a degree. You could talk to a financial planner to help you invest within your tolerance level. If you aren’t doing so already and it’s available through work, you should be maxing out your 401k match at the minimum. If you can spare it, it’s better to put more in you 401k than to keep it in savings thanks to compounding interest, and the taxes that aren’t taken. That annual max for 401k is I think more than 20k annually.

But with all of that, you need to live the life you want to, not the life that others are living. I love having a house and as long as I’m able to, I will never rent again, but I know people that don’t want the responsibility of home ownership, that have no desires to purchase. I don’t have kids because I don’t want them. My wife an I travel and do pretty much what we want when we want, within reason. Kids cost a lot and we have more money because of our choices, and are both very happy with our decision. Point being, you don’t have to live a “normal” life to have a fulfilling and successful life. If you are unsure on things like investing, find an expert to help out. If you want a house, you have the finances to do so. Don’t compare yourself to others in different situations as some barometer of success and adulthood.

You are scared of the unknown. Get on the internets and download a mortgage/home ownership spreadsheet. Then you can see how much house/condo you can afford, and when you are ahead from renting.

The difference between you an a teenager is 20something years of life experience. Don’t infantalise yourself