There is this one guy I know in the org I’m with who gives me these vibes. I have been extremely open about this. I will not engage with him or talk with him. Everyone seems to like him for some reason, but every red flag for me was triggered for some reason. He comes off as extremely manipulative. As petty and vindictive. As emotionally immature. As ‘not safe to be around’ period. I have not a shred of doubt that he would be a domestic abuser.
If it helps, people with autism tend to see straight through people with narcissistic personality disorder. People with NPD tend to try and isolate and ostracize autistic people as soon as they recognize them, because autistic people miss or disregard basically all of their attempts at manipulation. And if a person can’t be manipulated, a narcissist will see them as a threat to be excised.
People with autism will usually be baffled at why everyone likes the narcissist, because the narcissist comes off exactly as you described. Manipulative, petty, vindictive, immature, etc… And for some reason, the entire group just seems to go along with what the narcissist wants.
I’m a DA outreach worker i say 100% trust your gut instinct it’s telling you something. DA perps are manipulative and so tend to be well liked IME. Just fyi there’s a list of DA warning signs here. Every tip for narcissism is someone that does more than their fair share of the talking, always brings things back to them.
Thanks for that, really. I’ll check it out. I’ve had my fair share of experiences so I have learned to trust the red flags. It just sucks when nobody else seems to notice them (though with this guy I am definitely not the only one noticing as I found out recently…)
Yep! I’ll bet there’s a few. The interesting thing is perps often know that, especially when they’re older… they test people to see if they do realise the perp is abusive.
But from what you’re saying, not a shred of evidence either. I mean srsly, sometimes we’re just wrong about things, and everybody else feeling differently can be a clue. Not saying you’re wrong, because I don’t pretend to have psychic powers, just that it’s healthy to question our own process sometimes.
Not hard evidence but I have heard of some scummy things he has done and he had several pretty bad moments already. But those are easily overlooked or ignored because of his charisma, which I seem to be immune to. Or repulsed by I guess.
There is this one guy I know in the org I’m with who gives me these vibes. I have been extremely open about this. I will not engage with him or talk with him. Everyone seems to like him for some reason, but every red flag for me was triggered for some reason. He comes off as extremely manipulative. As petty and vindictive. As emotionally immature. As ‘not safe to be around’ period. I have not a shred of doubt that he would be a domestic abuser.
If it helps, people with autism tend to see straight through people with narcissistic personality disorder. People with NPD tend to try and isolate and ostracize autistic people as soon as they recognize them, because autistic people miss or disregard basically all of their attempts at manipulation. And if a person can’t be manipulated, a narcissist will see them as a threat to be excised.
People with autism will usually be baffled at why everyone likes the narcissist, because the narcissist comes off exactly as you described. Manipulative, petty, vindictive, immature, etc… And for some reason, the entire group just seems to go along with what the narcissist wants.
Lmfao yea you clocked my autism correctly lol. And I agree, it does give you a bit of a bullshit radar I think.
I’m a DA outreach worker i say 100% trust your gut instinct it’s telling you something. DA perps are manipulative and so tend to be well liked IME. Just fyi there’s a list of DA warning signs here. Every tip for narcissism is someone that does more than their fair share of the talking, always brings things back to them.
That is a grim list to read. Especially since it describe my late mother exactly (other than the sexual issues I thankfully know little of).
Thanks for that, really. I’ll check it out. I’ve had my fair share of experiences so I have learned to trust the red flags. It just sucks when nobody else seems to notice them (though with this guy I am definitely not the only one noticing as I found out recently…)
Yep! I’ll bet there’s a few. The interesting thing is perps often know that, especially when they’re older… they test people to see if they do realise the perp is abusive.
But from what you’re saying, not a shred of evidence either. I mean srsly, sometimes we’re just wrong about things, and everybody else feeling differently can be a clue. Not saying you’re wrong, because I don’t pretend to have psychic powers, just that it’s healthy to question our own process sometimes.
Not hard evidence but I have heard of some scummy things he has done and he had several pretty bad moments already. But those are easily overlooked or ignored because of his charisma, which I seem to be immune to. Or repulsed by I guess.
That’s just every popular person. No shit, how else would you achieve that.