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A favourite prank - True Story:
Guy from Québec goes to southern US for work. Thick accent and very catholic. Befriends locals, but finds the trope about ignorance to be … deserved.
At bar after work, locals try to explain Christianity to him. He plays dumb and trolls EXPERTLY.
Merican - So Jesus died for our sins and came back to life.
Qué: Like le zombie?
Merican: Well, no. Not like that. But he showed his friends the holes in his hands to prove it was him and he really died.
Qué: Oui! Like le zombie. Wounds on hands from 'ow he died and fleshrotting off face…
Merican: No no nothing like that.
Qué: But he died? (Yup) For real? (Yup) But got back up? (yes) With wounds. (Yes). So 'ow eez dis not like le zombie?
Merican: I’m just not explaining it well. (Story goes on) Gets to transubstantiation. Take this bread and eat of my flesh. Take this cup and drink of my blood … and you shall have everlasting life.
Qué: Mais oui! You See. Like le zombie! He eat your flesh. I see many movie like dis.
Merican: No! Sorry, I’m not explaining it well. Jesus doesn’t eat your flesh. He wants you to eat his, symbollically.
Qué: Ohhh! I see now. Everlasting life? (Yes) So zombie Jesus feed you his zombie flesh and blood, so you turn into zombie like him and be undead forever. Are all Americain in dis zombie cult?
Merican: 😬🥵 well, when you put it like that I guess it does sound pretty weird.
My mom never appreciates me wishing her a happy Zombie Jesus Day on Easter.
He could just use water from a well nearby, right?
Yeah, I don’t get this.
In John, there’s a wedding and the planners forgot to bring the booze, so Jesus tells some dudes to fill a bunch of casks with water, and then poof kablamo, they are made into wine via the power of Jesus being irritated.
There’s certainly a lot of imagery and focus on the blood of Jesus in the Bible… but the whole transsubstantiation/consubstantiation thing is about … the reverse of this, wine either transforming into, or metaphorically representing the blood of Christ.
I am… not aware of any part of the Bible nor sect/branch/denomination/church that teaches that Jesus at any point turns his blood into wine.
I don’t think that even happens in any of the ‘expanded universe’ / Gnostic texts.
In summary:
Wine -> Blood? Yes*.
Water -> Wine? Yes.
Blood -> Wine? No.
During the blessing at Mass, the priest says “…this is my blood…”, quoting Christ at the Last Supper. when blessing the wine. You are overthinking it. I think the joke is that Jesus’s blood is wine.
I love the implication that water could be turned into wine and that wine into blood. Arguably only if the first step happened before Jesus’ death and the second after
Some Christians (at least roman-catholic) celebrate communion, consuming ‘bread’ and wine that has been blessed. According to them the bread and wine literally become body and blood of Christ. That’s the joke of the comic :)
Yes but that’s backwards of what the comic is representing.
As I said… I don’t think any kind of Christian believes that Jesus’ blood ever turns into wine.
That doesn’t happen anywhere in the text.
So… the joke is… based off of a thing that doesn’t happen?
It would be like making a joke based off the idea that Moses can summon floods.
He can’t. He’s never shown to be able to do that, he’s shown to be a water bender who can move water out of the way, but not generate it.
doesn’t happen anywhere in the text.
Religion is more than just the book. Catholics literally believe that the wine at mass is literally Jesus’ blood. This is a joke about them. Not about the book that their specific flavor of whatever is based on.
The wine turns into Jesus’s blood when the priest blesses it.
This comic is the complete opposite of that.
I can’t believe I’m arguing this…
In the comic, Jesus isn’t turning his blood into wine. He’s simply tapping the vein.
Jesus’ blood is naturally alcoholic. We know this because the transubstantiation turns the wine at mass into Jesus’ blood, and THAT blood is alcoholic. The fact that the wine was originally alcoholic is completely unrelated. The priests could transubstantiate water into Jesus’ blood, and it’d still be alcoholic.
That’s assuming you actually believe in transubstantiation.
There are people who celebrate Eucharist with grape juice and it doesn’t turn alcoholic. It’s not that transubstantiation makes it alcoholic.
The literally believe the blessing of the Eucharist turns the wine into the blood of their nailed god.
Not that the blood of Christ turns into wine.
Hope this helps.
And then that wine is like 25 proof. ergo, his blood is 25 proof.
Look, I’m not Catholic or any kind of Christian, but…
Catholics do not believe that Jesus’ blood turns into wine.
So… acting like they do… is just trolling, basically.
Its not a joke, because it doesn’t stem from a thing that someone actually believes.
It is simply asserting that someone believes a thing they do not… which is trolling.
There are a vast plethora of ludicrous things that varying kinds of Christians believe are literally true, that you could make an actual joke out of.
That is the opposite of this though, like all the other comments are trying to explain.
Eucharist = wine and bread turning into Christ’s blood and flesh
Comic = Christ’s blood turning into wine
How are so many people getting that backwards? Are you all trolling?
All hail the artists mark!
Did anyone bright snacks?
Wait a minute! Jes…
He could’ve just peed into a jug instead, and then turned that into wine, right? I mean, it’s mostly water.
So are people…
Wonder what they would have called Data? Still ugly, of course, but he’s certainly not a bag of mostly water!
Are you sure that his bodily systems aren’t heat-sunk with water as a coolant?
Possible, although it’s never been revealed. He’s always looked very dry when opened up.
True, though any engineer capable of the delicate manufacture of a positronic brain should be a master of cable management.
For that matter, so is wine …
If Jesus turns the water in wine to wine, what do you get?
Stronger wine
Brandy?
Wine-ception.
event horizon
Don’t be silly, Jesus didn’t pee, he was the lamb of God. Or some stupid shit.
“And some bread to go with it.”
“and don’t spill my seed on the ground”
Let the heathens spill theirs on the dusty ground
You forget to remove the ad, friends don’t infest each other screens with ads.
No worries thou, I did it for you:
Why did you use JPG instead of transperant PNG or even SVG?
It’s visible in both light and dark mode.
You are insufferable
Are you actually this dense or is this some weird unfunny bit you’ve committed yourself to?
Hey, that’s not cool. Always show the artist
