Small talk is even harder in public if you are a big tall brown long haired Native Canadian man like me. I’m older now and I’m fully aware that I intimidate people at first glance. I’m not violent, or do or want to do aggressive things but if you saw me, chances are those are the first impressions that you would see.
In northern Ontario, Caucasian people are familiar with people like me and I can easily talk to most people, especially in rural areas. But if I talk to some young woman, I’m often treated like some kind of monster.
I’ve also been to Europe in Germany, France, Italy and Spain and over there it is even harder for me to conduct small talk … there’s a language barrier and on top of that I look like I do. No matter how modern people can be, there is always a level of racism when people encounter someone who doesn’t look like everyone else they know.
So to me … small talk is a public filter.
If I talk to someone and they don’t want to engage, I move on.
If I talk to someone and they treat me kindly and openly, I’ve met someone who will help me feel more comfortable in this strange world.
Thanks for the insight … I’ve made a subtle change to my first comment to reflect what you said.
It was a poor choice of words and phrasing on my part … a lot of time I’m just off handedly commenting on things while doing something else and never think too much or too clearly about what I’m saying or commenting.
As an older man now … I do take time to gauge who I am talking to, especially young people, because I know social anxiety, being awkward and just being young makes it difficult for young people to do any kind of small talk. But I also do have to do it safely in a public setting where I can feel safe and the person I talk to can feel safe.
As you can see … small talk even in a public forum like this is a skill we have to learn.
If anything small talk is necessary because it teaches all how to live with one another.
Small talk is even harder in public if you are a big tall brown long haired Native Canadian man like me. I’m older now and I’m fully aware that I intimidate people at first glance. I’m not violent, or do or want to do aggressive things but if you saw me, chances are those are the first impressions that you would see.
In northern Ontario, Caucasian people are familiar with people like me and I can easily talk to most people, especially in rural areas. But if I talk to some young woman, I’m often treated like some kind of monster.
I’ve also been to Europe in Germany, France, Italy and Spain and over there it is even harder for me to conduct small talk … there’s a language barrier and on top of that I look like I do. No matter how modern people can be, there is always a level of racism when people encounter someone who doesn’t look like everyone else they know.
So to me … small talk is a public filter.
If I talk to someone and they don’t want to engage, I move on.
If I talk to someone and they treat me kindly and openly, I’ve met someone who will help me feel more comfortable in this strange world.
Removed by mod
Thanks for the insight … I’ve made a subtle change to my first comment to reflect what you said.
It was a poor choice of words and phrasing on my part … a lot of time I’m just off handedly commenting on things while doing something else and never think too much or too clearly about what I’m saying or commenting.
As an older man now … I do take time to gauge who I am talking to, especially young people, because I know social anxiety, being awkward and just being young makes it difficult for young people to do any kind of small talk. But I also do have to do it safely in a public setting where I can feel safe and the person I talk to can feel safe.
As you can see … small talk even in a public forum like this is a skill we have to learn.
If anything small talk is necessary because it teaches all how to live with one another.