• Credibly_Human@lemmy.world
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    28 days ago

    You fucking wish.

    In reality nudes from women look shit too.

    People just generally give women a pass/see women as more attractive for the same equivalent level of attractiveness or effort for the photo. They also feel much more pressured by society to be all "WOW! I’ve never seen tits in my life!!! Magnifico! ✨✨🍆*

    Nudes suck.

    Thats my hot take.

    The fucking suck, the person sending them expects you to receive them like they’re gods gift to green earth and they’re (the photos, not the person) just mid, so you have to act like you’re a pavloved chimpanzee in full caveman mode so excited by this barely lit could be big foot sighting.

    At best nudes are an indication the person sending you them wants to fuck.

    They’re not jerk off material. They’re barely semi chub material.

    They’re just… mid.

    Could be the hottest person imaginable and they’d still be mid.

    Its ultimately just a poorly taken picture with poor lighting, with someone who (reasonably) won’t be bending over backwards to send you page 34 of the Kama Sutra.

    It would be so fucking nice if it was deemed socially appropriate to say “Look lady, I don’t need to see a 15th picture of your gooch from the same fucking angle” (but you know, with tact), but instead if you ever were to do that, they’d misinterpret your message as “I’m not all that sexually interested in you” rather than “I’m not all that sexually interested in every piece of evidence there is for extraterrestrial UFOs existing, but in a vaguely human shape”.

    Just a bit of a rant I hope was humorous but like seriously, I thought a few years back… probably like 15-20 years back, we all kinda agreed that nudes were stupid for security and revenge porn reasons, but now it seems the world is back at it again, for seemingly no reason, because next to no one is actually masturbating to these, and its like, just some fun chatting would get across the same effect or more, because it could display more personal knowledge of the other persons preferences and your desire for them.

    Bah.

    • Colors@lemmy.world
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      28 days ago

      Upvoted for bravery, but I have never disagreed so wholly with someone on any topic more than this.

    • Droggelbecher@lemmy.world
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      28 days ago

      Thanks for this reminder that I can ardently disagree with someone’s opinion and still think absolutely nothing less of them.

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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      28 days ago

      As someone who both loves to see nude dudes, and who gets… not ‘pestered’ for them, but ‘requested, often’ for them, either you are getting sent shit-tier pics or you think the mona lisa of tits is a boner-killer.

      All I need is a guy, visually or audibly (woof~) enjoying themselves. That’s it, that’s the core request. I prefer that the camera is focused, that I can see that cock in full-frame for the entire duration, that he’s washed his hands and doesn’t have crumbs under his fingernails, stuff like that. But if it’s hot, at the end of the day I don’t give a fuck. And if I can sense that it’s got real passion - maybe there’s a ton of pictures and I can follow the story, it’s building narrative (and need, and leaking precum), the agonizing peak, and the messy finish, fuck yeah. If it has needy, desperate moans, gasps, begging… I might finish before they do.

      My own stuff is awful, I know it’s awful, I warn others that it is awful. I get told that it’s not. I warn people that I’m not attractive, that I’m awkward (I’m chubby and disabled). Again, I get told that it’s hot, and am encouraged to keep making new stuff. And the people that I follow, I try to encourage too. Putting yourself out there, in any capacity, is a huge leap of trust. People are awful, and for many exposing themselves like this is scary. I follow people who, like myself, post to the internet where if anyone knows the service you’re posting on, or find the link, they can view it. And I also get sent stuff just for me directly, and those I view as even more special. I could be a huge piece of shit and share them with others, but I’m both not a huge piece of shit, and the understanding that someone made content for me because I want them, I crave them, I want to ravage their body until they faint and then keep going (consentually), for example, and they understand and are signaling they want that, too - huff!

      You need better stuff to look at, and/or a personal connection to someone who wants to [TV bleep] you until your [bleep] is so exhausted and ruined that that then they are going to [bleep] you until you scream and beg, then get harder and harder until you [bleep] over and over until you are totally dry, and they they are going to focus the attention on themselves for part 2. And they want to document these plans in photographic form, maybe with a captivating video ending. Those are the people you want to find.

      • potoooooooo ☑️@lemmy.world
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        28 days ago

        Hear me out: it was clearly a nude taken for someone else likely years before? AITA? Kinda spoiled the in the moment feeling of it all.

        • Credibly_Human@lemmy.world
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          28 days ago

          God no. The entire point of nudes is that the person took the effort to try to be sexy for you, and is teasing you about what they’re implying will happen in the near future.

          If they are just posting old nudes to you, thats a bit like someone using their old wedding vows and substituting in your name.

          It takes away all the personal intimacy of the interaction.

          Totally not the asshole there.

    • Tracaine@lemmy.world
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      28 days ago

      Hell yeah brother. Preach it. Hard agree. Since I turned 40 I’ve started to realize: “this isn’t that big of a deal. I’ll save my enthusiasm for the opening night”.

      Titties are nice, it’s fine to have them or share them but they’re really just bags of fat bolted onto a chest so don’t expect me to lose my shit after seeing them for the 20th time.

    • erin@piefed.blahaj.zone
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      27 days ago

      Could not disagree more. Nudes don’t have to be “jerk of material.” That’s not why my partners and I send them to each other. They’re more for mutual appreciation. We like looking at each other’s bodies because we’re attracted to each other, not because we’re expecting to rub one out. Also, sounds like you/the people you share nudes with need to take better nudes lol. We take excellent photos with excellent lighting (when the mood strikes us). Taking a “photo of your gooch” from the same angle is the woman equivalent of the right side of the meme. We all should know better.

      Pose, angle, and lighting, people!

      • Credibly_Human@lemmy.world
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        27 days ago

        I’m sure you’re right for you, but I’m personally of the opinion that bodies are best appreciated in person, and there is basically no way the amount of effort to take a good selfie is worth the relatively small payoff bonus vs chatting them up if you arent pretty into taking the photos yourself (like you find the process fun and also don’t expect jaw slacking amazement in response every time).

        I’m sure its all a preference thing and how much individual people value nudes.

        Also

        Taking a “photo of your gooch” from the same angle is the woman equivalent of the right side of the meme. We all should know better.

        I am definitely being a bit hyperbolic here, as I mostly meant to exaggerate the difference between successful non celebrity nsfw content creators/professional photographers and regular person pictures.

        I do think you have a point here though.

      • Credibly_Human@lemmy.world
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        28 days ago

        Definitely not. I’m describing a situation where someone you know is sending you nudes.

        I also am definitely as enticed by people irl or porn as any other person. I just don’t find nudes all that great. Like, I’d probably enjoy taking the nudes with someone over seeing them, or better yet, just doing things.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      28 days ago

      i relate to this comment so much. getting weird gross nudes from a woman is really offputting, even if you are into her.

      i also see it in so many other ways. women get a huge pass in life from men because sex, and other women because in group solidarity. every mid thing they do is this huge achievement for some reason. i don’t understand.

      but i know it’s a long documented psychological bias called the women are wonderful effect. and anytime you mention it, people deny it exists and start arguing with you how men are evil and women are great, proving the very effect they think they are disputing.

      Just a bit of a rant I hope was humorous but like seriously, I thought a few years back… probably like 15-20 years back, we all kinda agreed that nudes were stupid for security and revenge porn reasons, but now it seems the world is back at it again, for seemingly no reason, because next to no one is actually masturbating to these, and its like, just some fun chatting would get across the same effect or more, because it could display more personal knowledge of the other persons preferences and your desire for them.

    • Mac@mander.xyz
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      28 days ago

      Maybe the ones you’ve seen. The nudes ive received were on the level of French-painted goddesses.

    • FosterMolasses@leminal.space
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      28 days ago

      Hot take, I agree wholeheartedly. I don’t see the appeal of engaging in this weird dating app style of courting people and it does absolutely zip for me. Even for a casual hookup. Just kind of kills any sort of hype or tension. I’d much rather have some sexytalk and then meet up. Nudes are boring.

    • VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      27 days ago

      I don’t take nudes often, but when I do, I put some effort into it. Proper lighting, proper posing, interesting scene composition.

      Also, I generally agree that if there aren’t any nudes of you, it’s often a good idea to not start making them (because society sucks, not because nudes are inherently a problem), but knowing that nude pictures of you are available online already is pretty freeing in that regard.

      I don’t know what exactly my point is, except for that you might need to date people with higher nudes standards.

    • Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world
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      28 days ago

      Yeah, nudes from chicks usually are just close up shots that even a gyno would say is too close. Half the time it just looks like someone took a close up shot of an out of date corned beef sandwich…

  • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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    28 days ago

    I’ve been told my nudes are very tasteful. They want a sexy picture of you with your junk showing, (preferably full nudes, or pants fully down, nobody looks appealing with a frank and beans spilling out of their zipper) and not just a picture of your schlong.

      • Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone
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        28 days ago

        C’mon, at least draw on a smile, stick on some googly eyes, trim off a bit of your pubes and paste them on styled as muttonchops…

    • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world
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      27 days ago

      It’s efficiency. The subject matter is the frank n’ beans, who cares about the rest? Likewise, I would be perfectly content with receiving faceless melons flopped out of a bra.

      • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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        27 days ago

        If it works for you then it works for you, but I’m telling you that nothing soaks panties like a candid shot of you nude while washing the dishes or cooking. Toss an apron on to leave something to the imagination for extra points, it’s like lingerie for dudes.

  • solomonschuler@lemmy.zip
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    28 days ago

    Why did I read this as nodes. Am I seriously that married to CS that I read Nudes as nodes (as in nodes from linked lists).

    I guess it doesn’t help that the they’ve used the character ‘•’ in place of the ‘u’ to solicite the word “Nudes.”

  • markovs_gun@lemmy.world
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    27 days ago

    I love that I can literally see the lady on the left’s nipples through her shirt but God forbid I see the word “Nudes”

    • ptu@sopuli.xyz
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      27 days ago

      I don’t know how Lemmy is built, but I’m quite sure there isn’t any automatic OCR to scan for some naughty words

    • rumba@lemmy.zip
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      26 days ago

      the algo

      This is about instagram/facebook/ticktok demonitizing for sex/drugs/violence/harm because advertisers won’t put their money behind that for fear of a religious call to cancel.

      Sadly, we’re just getting thriftstore memes.