You can feel your hair growing

Your badge! Show him your badge!

Didn’t he stop a train and lift a wall in spider man 2?

After three semesters

We need to make sure that the days have started getting longer

Without using plate tectonics, explain how fish fossils ended up on mountains. That’s right, it must be the Noah flood.

Do you count holidays

Good thing I only drink bottled soda

Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa? Because they know they make the toys.

There was a time when the least trusted part of the news was the weather

Give them a shot of morphine first

Or you still have a soul that now has to haul ass to get to wherever you just teleported to.

Seems like a game show question

12 is an easier number to work with because of how many factors it has

kind of relevant xkcd

It was a multi family household along with his aunts uncles and cousins. Probably cheaper to do it that way.

/u/sp3ctr4l is permanently banned from /r/comics because your comment broke the community’s rules. You can still view and subscribe to /r/comics, but you won’t be able to post or comment.

Satire

You can get word for apple

Is that tv made of unobtainium