Freddy Got Fingered you uncultured swine.

Hey that happens to the best of us.

I can read the tattoo on his chest.

Ninety-nine insight.

I was thinking Aphex Twin.

I don’t know I watched that man eat all the hot wings in Hot Ones without drinking anything or even changing expressions.

It actually might have been the only time I’ve ever seen him happy.

Except that guy from black flag turned out he was racist.

I wonder if asafoetida would work instead of onion?

My cats would sell me out for three treats.

I swear I’ve seen Sabrina Carpenter in the Dec 1 outfit.

Throw a fish in there too.

Is that when you’re not quite drunk enough to black out but you’re just browning out a little between lines?

Should I blend the oil and onion together so there aren’t big chunks in it?

All punks want to do is mosh and smell bad.

I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck up in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

It’s goddamned poetry.

I noticed a drop in scam emails.

I wanted a sautéed onion candle so I can get my roommate’s hopes up for a good dinner.

I think that’s where I got it from.

I’m old fashioned I get myself an eight ball on Christmas Eve and one tall hooker dressed like Mrs. Claus and one short one dressed like an elf.

Can you walk across it?