Plenty of people in manager positions without the actual manager skills. People who conduct themselves unprofessionally. That is common IMO. So yeah, get used to it, grow a thicker skin, plus gain confidence as a worker by knowing your rights, what they can and can’t do against you, and all that. Etc.

In my opinom both are problematic. Better using “Is it possible that on day X event Y happened and caused issue Z? Please help me sort the things out and understand the rootcause.”

The first way sounds like the result of management training, tbh. Giving people space to reply instead of jumping right into questions allows them to give a reason for example. The conversation can go in that direction and is about the situation not defending against the manager’s assumptions about why something happened. Like “You clocked in late yesterday.” The person can be like, “yeah I couldn’t find my socks.” It needs to be about something that everyone agrees happened tho.

I don’t think the second way is great either, and puts people in the defensive real quick. Like, “Your coworkers said you were late yesterday, is that true?” You are probably wondering which one of your coworkers is a narc instead of paying attention to the convo. Or maybe you weren’t late to work, but there was a spill in front of the terminal and you needed to wait for it to be cleaned or cleaned it yourself. And then forgot to get it adjusted. And you have an asshole coworker who is trying to start shit.

Sorry your manager is an asshole. I don’t know if ‘thin skinned’ is a useful term. It’s not thin skinned to be upset about being told you did shit you did not do.

Just correct the framing, every time they do it. Nobody can object to a more neutral framing with any sincerity. If they want to make it a larger problem, you’ll look like - and actually be - the more reasonable party.