For credibility: I hold a major in Shitpostology, certified by a guy at the local bridge. Hes won 300 running weekly hobo knife fights. I have saved over 4000 memes to my phone, most of which are outdated and unfunny. I spend 4 hours a day on discord and Lemmy, whom I love. I come to you as not-sus as can be, and am definetly not the imposter. All this to give credence to myself but please do not let this extensive and bombastic speech distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.
Ask me anything, and I will proceed to ignore it.
How many ducks would it take to span the equator if they were all lined up in a row?
At least 12, probably, but I wouldn’t quote that
At least 12
Too late
How exactly does this behavior differ from a normal person? 😂
4 hours a day rookie numbers come back when you don’t leave to even pee
What is the meaning of fife?
To buy lootboxes for our lord EA. Oh shit that’s FIFA.
The meaning of a fife is someone didn’t want a whole ass flute so they made it shorter
That was a good idea. In my, admittedly fictional, experience, a whole ass-flute is very painful, so shortening it is preferable.
Where are my pants?
Honey, where are my paaaaaaaaaaaaannntttssss?
Found your pants, series is over.
Did you check the back of my wife’s car? You might have left them here.l when we took you to the mission
4 hours a day rookie numbers come back when you don’t leave to even pee
Why does the porridge bird lay it’s eggs in midair?
So they uh…don’t get poached?
No that can’t be it, you can still poach the eggs, same as frying them.
What band should I hire for my funeral?
I mean I’d definetly hire a local mariachi and make it a party. It’d be the first party I’ve ever been invited to.
I’m going to add a clause to my will that a “reverse quinceañera” party must be held 15 years after my death to celebrate my passage from meat person to skeleton person.
Spooky scary spooky scary spooky scary
How much shit would a shitposter post if a shitposter could post shit?
Banned for nsfw because feces
While you might indeed be full of shit, this post has turned into top notch comments …so, thanks I guess?
Maybe your legit after all?
Was Mankind okay? (I am aware this is a shitty morph reference)
How do you get the freshest shit to post and what wood would you recommend for posting it?
Steal popular posts or make my own based on the current popular format, then wait for peak time like 8am central when Americans are awake, then post it.
Tell me Sempai Shitposter, do my shitposts increase in potency if posted from the toillet while shitting?
The toilet is the preferred place, as workplaces do not permit staff to be on their phones in public. So not only do you get to shitpost, you can say you were busy because you were at the toilet.
Crapping during company time…
How exactly does your bunghole get digitized for the whole world to see? I am just not understanding all this tekmology shit.
