• tryitout@infosec.pub
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        1 year ago

        He spent a bunch of dough on that hair. I believe he is likely aware of his appearance. He is pale and overweight because he spends a bunch of time playing video games, being a nazi in his failing social media site, and (based on this picture) eating french fries.

        Maybe at some point his vanity will compel him to get liposuction or just go full orange man with spray tan and wear baggy suits with ties that are too long. I don’t see him being like Bezos or Zuck and getting into shape.

    • Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com
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      1 year ago

      I hate the photoshopped photos of those “celebrities” in the news.

      I mean splash one of the Elon news on this photo mother fuckers!

  • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    He’s a successful scammer, for sure, but at the end of the day still a scammer who got fired for incompetence and then got lucky.

      • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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        1 year ago

        A scammer who used his money he made through scamming to become CEO, and then to scam even more:

        • Scams his employees by paying too little or not at all

        • Scams his money lenders by breaking their investment

        • Scams his customers by asking premium prices for underperforming products

        • Scams governments out of funding

        • Scams new tech startups by suing them in order to be called a founder

        • Scams every person in every country his companies operate in by not paying the taxes he is owed

  • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 year ago

    He’s got the money where he can be lazy and still fix his health. Hire a personal chef and dietician. A personal trainer and a gym. Take a minute and get a stylist.

    You’re a billionaire for goodness sake. Buy a top hat!

  • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one
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    1 year ago

    ahem
    gets out a guitar
    strums a few notes

    My human wife left me,
    My space ship left me,
    Alone on this planet,
    I have no one to man it,

    I can’t drink beer,
    At least the alt-right doesn’t fear me,
    I’m alone on Earth,
    I can’t work on my girth,

    Why don’t people like me,
    I’m not a banshee,
    I’m an alien,
    Definitely not a mammalian (ew),

    My family loathes me, I don’t know why,
    I give them clothes from me,
    Maybe because I’m a blowfly,

    I wish I could cry,
    I want to go back to my home,
    Good bye Earth,
    Hello Crinda FGAN my home,

    Thank you everyone for your support, you can buy my name album “What the Fuck Was I Doing?” to be released on April 20, 2024. Support your local record shops!

  • tover153@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    Courtesy of ChatGPT: (Verse 1) Well, gather 'round, folks, let me spin you a tale, 'Bout a man named Elon, set to set sail. Started with Tesla, electric dreams in his hand, But life threw a curveball, didn’t go as planned.

    Married to a queen, but the castle came down, Divorce papers flying all over the town. Custody battle, like a wild, wild west show, But Elon’s still standing, ain’t ready to go.

    (Chorus) He lost his love, his rockets crashed in space, Forty billion dollars, it’s a hard-earned case. But Elon keeps on smiling, though the world’s gone astray, In the face of chaos, he just shouts, “Hey, hooray!”

    (Verse 2) Lost a rocket or two, in the great cosmic sea, But Elon’s got Starship, just you wait and see. A flamethrower in hand, and a grin on his face, Says, “Life’s just a journey, let’s enjoy the race.”

    Ex-wife took a Tesla, but he’s got the Cybertruck, Lost some billions, but he don’t give a…buck. In the game of life, he’s still rolling the dice, Laughing in the wind, like a cowboy in the night.

    (Chorus) He lost his love, his rockets crashed in space, Forty billion dollars, it’s a hard-earned case. But Elon keeps on smiling, though the world’s gone astray, In the face of chaos, he just shouts, “Hey, hooray!”

    (Bridge) Now the world may say, “Elon, what’s your deal?” But he’s launching rockets, making electric cars real. Mars is calling, and he’s reaching for the stars, In the face of setbacks, he’s trading scars for memoirs.

    (Verse 3) So here’s to Elon, in this country song tale, Fighting through storms, like a ship with no sail. Life may be crazy, but he’s dancing in the rain, Saying, “I’ll build a new rocket, and I’ll try it again.”

    (Chorus) He lost his love, his rockets crashed in space, Forty billion dollars, it’s a hard-earned case. But Elon keeps on smiling, though the world’s gone astray, In the face of chaos, he just shouts, “Hey, hooray!”

    (Outro) So raise a glass, to the man with the plan, In this country ballad, where the dust meets the sand. Elon’s still riding, on that electric highway, Laughing at the odds, shouting, “Hey, hooray!”

  • porkins@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I’m sure that the Saudis are compensating him for his losses on Twitter. This was a planned demolition.

    • burgermeister@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Sure, here’s a sci-fi space-themed country song:

      “Stars in My Whiskey”

      (Verse 1) Out here on the edge of the galaxy’s arm, In my rusted spaceship, away from the farm. I’m missing that old Earth, its green and its blue, But the stars out here sparkle like morning dew.

      (Chorus) I’ve got stars in my whiskey, and tears in my eye, Drifting through the cosmos, under the infinite sky. Missing my home, where the red rivers flow, Out here in the stars, with nowhere to go.

      (Verse 2) I dance with comets, race with the moon, Sing to the void, out of tune. I dream of cornfields and that sweet country song, But the universe is vast, and the nights are long.

      (Chorus) Stars in my whiskey, a heart full of ache, Wandering the heavens, for my old love’s sake. Under the glow of the distant sun’s light, I’m a space cowboy, lost in the night.

      (Bridge) Met a Martian girl with eyes like fire, She mended my heart, filled me with desire. But Earth’s sweet memories, they call me back, To the old wooden porch, the long dirt track.

      (Chorus) With stars in my whiskey, and dreams in my head, I think of Earth as I float in my bed. The galaxy’s wide, but my heart’s still there, In the sweet country air, without a care.

      (Outro) So I’ll keep drifting, with my space-bound blues, Chasing the horizon, in my rocket shoes. But no matter how far, or where I roam, My country heart still calls for home.

  • JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    He’d be pretty happy about the space ship blowing up though. If it had crashed into the launch pad or something on takeoff, then it would definitely count.