(Me, shy and introverted, introducing myself)
Them: oh that’s my dog’s name.
Me: cool. Cool cool cool. Cool.
Same scenario, but they’re hot AF.
(Me, shy and introverted, introducing myself)
Them: oh that’s my dog’s name.
Me: cool. Cool cool cool. Cool.
(Them being hot doesn’t change things.)
“Oh, so you’ve got a collar with my name on it? 😉”
(I’d never actually be that bold in person)
I might, but I definitely wouldn’t think of it in time, then I’d curse myself out in the car later.
No one is named Hobo haha
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo_Johnson technically it’s a stage name but
That’s why I don’t pick people names for pets lol.
It’s not my fault your parents named you “Kevin.”
I constantly find myself having verbal diarrhea with no filter. Today I tried encouraging a friend whose three year old son wants to wear dresses every now and then and she is unsure how to feel about it by, gloriously, saying that I think Frank N Furter is incredibly manly and sexy and Kurt Cobain wearing night gowns on stage is amazing and I’m totally into cishet men wearing women’s clothes.
I died as the words came out of my mouth and I will never be able to sleep again.
Whenever I manage to keep myself from saying shit like that I silently applaud myself because it’s really hard and each time I keep my mouth shut is a win for humanity.
I feel you. I’ve gotten better at it, but recently had a much older woman flirting with me at a bar. She led into some story with, “Well, I’m much older than you, but…” to which I casually, mindlessly, obliviously, effortlessly, and to both of our near-instant horror, interjected a supportive-intended, “…obviously…”
In real-time now:
Her: “Well, I’m much older than you, but…”
Me: “Obviously.”
She was literally stunned silent. Then me, too.




