The best sex I’ve ever had was with a woman who regularly (temporarily) cockblocked herself by making me laugh so hard I couldn’t stay hard
anyone else try to figure out the mechanics of the position as they’re reading a post like this
Some girl took that selfie and never imagined someone would caption it like this.
She’s a inadvertent goddamn rockstar
Wait, how is she holding the phone with both her arms down?
did you not hear about her prodigious buttcheeks? Follow the thread.
With her buttcheeks
Tripod & voice activation or whatever
What if she has a friend though? (Unlikely I know)
pussay Ftfy
He’s been busy shopping for a ring
My kind of gal.
Sex is supposed to be a fun bonding experience. I see no problem. If you can’t have dumb fun with your naked bestie who can you have fun with
The naked grandmother and former meth addict I met on Facebook dating?
You think I’m making a tasteless joke, but now who’s the one being judgmental?
This guy fucks
That’s honestly hilarious. I’d be laughing
She hasn’t heard from him since? She’d better unclench and make sure he’s okay…
Well did she ever give his nose back?
Give him his nose back! Give him his nose back!
Let’s get this tending y’all. 2026 resolution freebie right there. lmao
Green flag
brown flag.
If you can’t laugh during sex, then what dafuq are we even doing here‽
We laugh at hexbear accounts. Lol cowbee and so on.
I’ll admit I goa
tded some of those idiots(and got banned from a bunch of communities), but they are extremely smart people.Edit to clarify.
(Goaded* sorry not trying to be a dick just trying to be helpful)
No! You’re not a dick! Thank you for correcting me!
Ah that explains it. I was thinking new slang just dropped.
“THEY GOT GreatestOfAllTimed!!!” (Air horns, John Cena, etc)
They are either intentionally lying (which is what I think they are doing) or completely ignorant to the historical context they reference. Either way smart is not how I’d describe them.
Not talking about their politics!
I vehemently disagree with them there!
But tech wise, they are not to be underestimated.
I’m sure that they are. So are we. The difference is we can be smart, hold an opinion, and not be insufferable.
“we”‽
You might be smart. But I’m dumb as fuck.
Idk I like your username so it sounded smart. My PhD is not related to social things.
Fuck me! I just read that you have a PhD!
You are definitely smarter than me
It’s only rocket science, has nothing to do with shitposting on Lemmy. I wouldnt worry about it.
Thanks for looking, but I’m pretty pro Palestine.
Don’t know if that changes your opinion. But I chose this name many moons ago.
I don’t think there’s anything not smart about being pro Palestine. I think that’s a safely considered opinion.
You guys make noise during sex?
You ever hear the sound a man makes when he eats a handful of bees?
… no?
¿Quein no?
No lo hago.
Ninja na cama.
Nunca me ven venir.
Justa
It’s been a long while since I’ve seen an interrobang in the wild - you are a gentleperson and a scholar my good chum!
Insert a cyberpunk reference here.
bc if you laugh it reminds me that my tiny peen is a joke and the erection goes away
Unless you’re like 1.5 in 10,000(.015%),I can assure you your average or slightly above.
Edit: can’t help myself, there’s an abnormal amount of angry small dick fuckers here(of which, you are not one!).
I’m no expert but I don’t think that’s how bell curves work.
Edit to also add; my bad for making someone else feel better about themselves. I’ll try not to make that mistake again.
I would ask you to look it up.
Edit to add; micropenis affects about .015%. I find it weird others are disagreeing.
I think they disagree because not having a micropenis (in the medical sense) doesn’t imply that you are above average.
Assuming penis length is distributed normally exactly 50% of people are below average. If you remove 0.15‰ from that you are practically still left with about 50% that don’t have a micropenis and are below average.
I didn’t talk my penis. But I’m certain yours is small.
Edit: whoa whoa whoa, I’m not sure what I said in context. But I did NOT mean to insult you like it sounds!
What if 90% of people have the exact average length, and the rest are the bell curve?
Nice though experiment, but doesn’t hold up to scrutiny on many levels (not meant in a condescending way, just to spinn that thought experiment further)
First, we can’t even agree on how/what to exactly measure with penis length. Even if we fixed that, the actual distribution itself doesn’t have buckets (like size ranges) but would contain all data points individually. If we measure with unreasonably high precision and assume that penis length is a real (in a mathematical sense) number than there is a 0% chance that two people have the same penis length and there would be no person that has an exactly average penis length.
Stepping back from this thought experiment, there is data for penis length and the standard deviation is wider than most people would expect, it’s far from 90% being average unless your average bucket is something like 5-20cm
Homie, there is no swaying me.
Someone felt bad about themselves and I presented them with a counter.
Fuck it, maybe I have a micro peen? And I was just trying to help out a fellow homie.
Edit to add: doesn’t matter if they do or not!
What’s important is it not being fucking important!
Edit edit: I think that last line is one of coolest things I ever typed.
Being swayed by facts is not a bad thing
I really appreciate people helping other people especially because the internet is often such a harsh and toxic place, but I don’t think presenting a counter that’s factually wrong really helps.
And you are right, it’s not important. I mean it’s not even a requirement to have a penis at all for intimacy. So unless you don’t have a tongue, no hands (not even 10 fingers required) you should be ok. You could also try toys.
Penis length is often an ego thing and that’s hard to fix in a lemmy comment.
You are the first person to mention micropenis
Lol, thanks for trying to use that as a cudgel. I’m comfortable with the size of my bits.
But thanks for focusing on that.
Edit to add: this entire interaction started with me telling someone they didn’t have one!
This is really not a good look for you homie, trying to dog pile on at the last minute…
But you’re still the first to mention it. Why are you telling someone they don’t have a micropenis when they didn’t say anything to suggest they had one? It makes no sense. That’s why your thread was so off the rails, because you started a massive non sequitur.
I guess wearing a rigid mask?
Yeah.
Perfectly one that shows you as a terrible person.
Go ahead and dawn a donald trump mask. You deserve it!
*don
You get the upvote just cause I’m so confused.
Um, what?
Honestly, don’t know what I was going on about.
My bad.
But the sentiment remains!
I’m angry at you, and don’t know what for.
Forgive me.
… fuckin’?
“what the fuq”- meant
Some of us pay good money for that
One of the best things about monogamy is how freely bodily fluids of all kinds can be shared carefree
(Unless it’s feces; that’s not out-of-the-box sanitary)
Well feces ideally isn’t a fluid
2 girls disagree.
I’m SORRY if we can’t all meet Cosmo’s latest unrealistic beauty standard of the week. If you can’t handle my feces at its most-fluid, you don’t deserve it at its most-viscous.
It took me a moment to realize you were referring to Cosmo the magazine. I saw that OP’s username is Mr Fish and immediately thought of Cosmo and Wanda.
Mr Fish + Cosmo makes my brain completely skip the fun show made by a horrible person and go to A Fish Called Wanda for whatever reason
Most managers pay good money for people who brown-nose them
Lord, I’d cum and then propose.
And if I was her, I’d wait til you were fingering my asshole then say, “Told you I’d put a ring on it”
What the f*** is a Pusay?
It’s only a Pusay if it comes from the French region of Pusay. If it doesn’t, it’s just sparkling vagina
Vajazzled?
Censoring yourself while asking about a censored word is the epitome of irony.
We’re attempting to achieve the comedy.
C*medy please, there may be mods present. They are triggered by people having fun.
Use “ple*se”, this is the internet, some people may find kindness triggering
It would have worked if you only used one *, removed one letter and added an extra one like in the image. They way you did it just reads like you actually thought you had to or wanted to cencor the word.
Someone call Alanis!
A punanny
Steven Segal ft. Lady Saw: Me want the Punani
Yes, Steven Segal the bad action actor.
I went through therapy to block that memory. I curse you and Robert Evans for making me aware of this song.
Robert Evans was the real bastard all along.
You’re welcome!
This is peak Segal. He should be known for this and not anything else.
I can’t know him for the sex slaves? Or his time as a cop using a tank to kill a dog? Theres so much more to unpack of the man. What about the time he tried to rape Ray Charles’ granddaughter?
He’s an actor? I know him from Putin’s parades, which he attends frequently
He was great in Executive Decision.
You mean a Volvo?
No it’s a pisay
Isn’t that how Macklemore pronounces it in “and we danced”?
p-say
