Honestly, I feel like I have repressed memories, I mean, the fear of the voice of yelling overshadowed whatever I supposedly “did wrong” and I never really encoded those into memory, since the fear was so overwhelming.
I mean, one of the things I do remember is she always ask me to help her with something, usually like translating letters, or help fill out forms in English, and since I learned English at school, she just forces me to translate stuff, and I kinda got tired of it sometimes, try to not do it or be like “later” then she gets mad.
Hmmm… ugh I can’t remember, must’ve been just too repetative my brsin refused to encode it.
I remember my older brother fight with me all the time, so we both get yelled at. Like we’d fight over who gets more food or something, or something about fairness. (poverty problems lol)
Or perhaps there is some school-related problem and my mother would argue with teachers, then use insults against me.
They (especially my mother) say stuff like “細路仔要乖乖聽話” (“Kids like you need to be more obedient”?) or “點解你死都唔聽我哋教你阿？我哋喺為你好，隔離屋會唔會理你阿？” (“Why would you rather die and not even listen to what I have to teach you? I am looking out for your interest! A neighbor wouldn’t even care about you!” (because she is my biological parents and the “the only person in the world that cares about me”))
Also, she tells me: 世上只有妈妈好，没妈的孩子像根草。(Only mom is the best in the whole world, a child with no mother is like a blade of grass.) Basically it’s sort of like: Your wellness depends on me, if I die, your life will be miserable, you should thank me.
@[email protected] sorry to tag you, but you speak Cantonese so: have your parents ever said stuff like this? Standard Cantonese family bullshit right? Tell me this isn’t just me?
Nope. Yelling isn’t okay. Parents are human and may do it anyway, but it’s always a mistake and should be treated as such (except in the case of danger as mentioned above). It absolutely should be avoided as much as possible. It’s an incredibly harmful thing to do (for any relationship, actually).
More context needed. Sometimes my kids are savages, so yelling does occur on occasion. They’re usually pretty great, though.
Honestly, I feel like I have repressed memories, I mean, the fear of the voice of yelling overshadowed whatever I supposedly “did wrong” and I never really encoded those into memory, since the fear was so overwhelming.
I mean, one of the things I do remember is she always ask me to help her with something, usually like translating letters, or help fill out forms in English, and since I learned English at school, she just forces me to translate stuff, and I kinda got tired of it sometimes, try to not do it or be like “later” then she gets mad.
Hmmm… ugh I can’t remember, must’ve been just too repetative my brsin refused to encode it.
I remember my older brother fight with me all the time, so we both get yelled at. Like we’d fight over who gets more food or something, or something about fairness. (poverty problems lol)
Or perhaps there is some school-related problem and my mother would argue with teachers, then use insults against me.
They (especially my mother) say stuff like “細路仔要乖乖聽話” (“Kids like you need to be more obedient”?) or “點解你死都唔聽我哋教你阿？我哋喺為你好，隔離屋會唔會理你阿？” (“Why would you rather die and not even listen to what I have to teach you? I am looking out for your interest! A neighbor wouldn’t even care about you!” (because she is my biological parents and the “the only person in the world that cares about me”))
Also, she tells me: 世上只有妈妈好，没妈的孩子像根草。(Only mom is the best in the whole world, a child with no mother is like a blade of grass.) Basically it’s sort of like: Your wellness depends on me, if I die, your life will be miserable, you should thank me.
@[email protected] sorry to tag you, but you speak Cantonese so: have your parents ever said stuff like this? Standard Cantonese family bullshit right? Tell me this isn’t just me?
It depends on how and if your repair the damage you cause by yelling. Kids aren’t savages; they’re kids.
2¢ from a former school bus driver: they’re fucking savages.
Yelling is never okay unless there’s imminent danger and yelling is needed to prevent it.
Never ok? Bullshit. Verbal abuse exists and it beyond not ok, but there is a huge fucking gap between never ok and verbal abuse.
Nope. Yelling isn’t okay. Parents are human and may do it anyway, but it’s always a mistake and should be treated as such (except in the case of danger as mentioned above). It absolutely should be avoided as much as possible. It’s an incredibly harmful thing to do (for any relationship, actually).
I agree. I yell on my children on occasion, but it’s a thing I regret every time, yelling is not okay.