Some kaiju-sized demon could cleave Tampa, Florida in half with a flaming sword of the damned and all twitter would have to say about it is “would.”
> kaiju demon cleaves Tampa > prehistoric kaiju sized mega-crocodile erupts from crack in ground > they battle it out, croczilla wins by continuous death rolling > "Oh I must have switched on the sci-fy channel by accident" > mfw its national news station with live coverage
Twitter: “lmao this new retcon of Godzilla is wild”You know the movie “The end”? With Seth Rogan etc.
BIG DEMON PENIS XD
Kaiju coming to Florida, eating some elderly people and their scooters, some swamp felons with their fentanyl patches and deciding to go back into the sea.
“Next time I’m going to Canada, the people here are wild and I’m starting to feel really…”
I’d be down to bang any supernatural entity that solves Florida.
The indomitable human spirit.
Also known as “the ability to exist out of pure spite, because FUCK YOU I ain’t collapsing over THIS bullshit.”
Litterly why i am still alive
There is always hope if we still have the willpower to shit talk the nazis
And even if not. Resistance is incredibley good
Fucking same dude. They’re not getting rid of us that easily.
That’s metal as fuck. Rock on.
I ain’t ask to be here, but you a damned fool if you think imma just roll over and give the fuck up! Hell naw. My ass taking some of y’all fuckers with me.
Half of Lemmy: “Oh no, please, don’t destroy my asshole 🤤”
Demon: “I am here to annihilate humanity! Hello? Please stop it… You’re making this really awkward…”
Trust me, you wouldn’t want to lose your virginity to a 9 dicked demon - Jerry Jones
Don’t tell me how to live my life Jerry jones
It’s all smiles and glory holes down here
Maybe Satan isn’t all that bad a guy and he was banished to a place for eternity that doesn’t really bother him
and maybe this is why we are sent to hell … we are Satan’s punishment … we are sent there to torture Satan for eternity
So Satan sets the place on fire and tries to burn all of us to try to kill us but we are undead and keep asking him why and send him texts of ‘lol’
Turns out Satan is actually Doom Guy condemned to fight us for eternity
Guys, Bible 2.0 just dropped
SUBSCRIBE
Why would some people be sent to heaven, though?
They weren’t annoying enough to send to hell as punishment for Satan, and God thought they’d be cool to hang out with.
I think they’re just toys in God’s creep collection
Who said and who has proof that anyone was sent to heaven?
The God of the Old Testament is an absolute monster, so I automatically like the guy who opposed him more.
I really like the Gnostic belief that this God is the “demiurge”… a lesser, malevolent, ignorant and false god who created the material world as a flawed imitation of the divine realm. He traps human souls in matter, while the true, transcendent God remains distant and unknowable. Some gnostics see the serpent as the good guy for encouraging Adam and Eve to eat the fruit of knowledge and free humanity from the ignorance of Yaldabaoth, the blind fool god, very much like Morpheus in The Matrix (which adapts all kinds of ideas from Gnosticism).
I would rather have satan in control than god if this world is what god did for us.
Really no way to tell which is which if you’re going by the contents of the book other than the more powerful one saying they’re the good one. They both lie, kill, etc.
Satan is just a subcontractor for god.
Would I die soyjacking to a demon? Yes.
Would it be funny? Also yes.
Maybe they make great pets?
Or maybe they taste good?
House breaking them will be the big problem.
that’s my rescue Wormwood
Well, we don’t put them in the house at first. Or if we do, we chain them in a dark basement with a lock on the door and tell visitors they can’t go there.
TFW OP posted this literally one hour after a dire wolf meme was dumped in 196 Blahaj
When the demons realise humans have come a long way from the last time they showed up and start seeing demon ivory on ebay.
Wtf, Where is from?
Devilman crybaby. The joke is more about how he’s standing at the head of the church like a priest.
Flayed skin fetish bots
Anyone else think the sodomy demon kinda looks like Grimace?
Holy shit
Bro’s out here talking about the sodomy demon, they’re all sodomy demons if you play your cards right 😉
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