It’s not true, folks. The lying liberal media wants you to think he’d shag a settee. That he’d bone a book stand. That he’s creamied on the credenza.

Don’t trust them. My beautiful boy JD, he’d never do it! He’s chaste with the chaises. He’s never loved a loveseat.

My VP would never fuck furniture.

    • marcos@lemmy.world
      9·
      5 months ago

      That.

      I care really a lot if you accuse somebody of being Hitler and then go work for him. But fuck anybody caring about fucking couches.

    • GBU_28@lemm.eeEnglish
      7·
      5 months ago

      First it’s just the couch.

      Then it’s the couch with your wife on it.

      Then it’s your wife.

      This is a documented progression of predatory behavior