In Islam, there is an apocryphal story of the prophet Muhammad doing this for his cat Muezza.

They are warning the kibble in Sto-bowl-kor that a great meal is about to arrive. The food in the bowl is only an empty shell now; the humans should treat it as such and dispose of it.

“Subscribe and save” is a scam.

They advertise that you will save 5% by using subscribe and save, but then the price of the item you are buying just happens to go up by 30% on the day they decide to use as the basis for your order, which is not the day you ordered it or the day they pulled it off the shelf. It will occasionally go back down to a normal-ish price, but there will also be random months where it goes up 50% or 100%. I’ve seen $15 case of paper towels go up to $45 some months.

Then they keep prodding you to add more items to get 10% off your entire subscribe and save. I added some items a few weeks ago, got the extra discount percentage, but when they priced my order a few weeks later, the cat food I’ve been getting from them at a pretty stable price suddenly went up in price by the exact amount the extra discount was saving me.

Amazon essentially took the “four square” concept that car dealers use to shift higher costs to an area of the transaction where you are less likely to notice it.

If one was from France and the other was from Portugal, they missed an opportunity to meet in the middle and speak Andorian/Andorran. He could still read her poetry but without all the ducking involved in Klingon courtship.

Some women look at a man and think:

…I can fix that…

Though they’re more likely to think:

Oh please… I’m not a miracle worker

Those Dubliner jokes are awfully cheesy, unlike the munster comedygold coming out of Kerry.

France has ordered the empire to issue a software fix for elevated radiation levels detected from the dStar 12 or face a nationwide death star recall. The empire responded with a link to an article on its EmpireNews app that states the radiation levels are fine.

Members of the local Force Usergroup say they are hopeful this latest revelation will prompt citizens to migrate to the Pine Moon of Endor, but many people are not in a financial position to abandon the dStar 12.

Finally ditching Apple’s “Music” player for MOC after watching Apple dismantle/bury basic features over the last decade.

Merlin is amazing. I heard birds outside my new apartment and thought of them as nice background noise. Within days of installing Merlin, I could tell sparrows, cardinals and robins apart without seeing them. Whenever I heard a new bird, I’d grab my phone and open Merlin.

One day it sounded like a robin and a cardinal were having and argument while both simultaneously having a stroke. Merlin figured out it was a catbird, a relative of the mockingbird that learns the songs of other birds then strings pieces of them together in a disorganized song to impress the ladies. Basically, the male catbird who can sing the weirdest songs using the most species signals that he has “been around” for enough seasons to learn all those songs and therefore must have good genes the females want to pass on. It’s mind blowing to learn all this about things that are going on outside your window.

It seems to me that we need some software that intercepts the data being sent to Google, replaces all proper nouns with “Sundar Pichai,” all numbers with a 10 followed by 100 zeroes, and randomizes everything else before sending. The data they receive would look like it was smuggled out of a Being John Malkovich parallel universe.

Or we could just use Firefox. Or Lynx.

And you don’t want to do the chainsaw dance of contrition after failing to pay your host the courtesy of synchronizing your chronometers with their planet’s capital city.

Uno, dos, meow, meow, tres, cuatro!

Pretty little kitty chased a thing she saw.

Had a pouch of catnip and a feather boa

Furry purry, furry purry.

I’ve been to three state fairs, a Trump speech, and a rodeo and I can’t believe that’s the first debate I’ve heard about appropriate usage of butter.

The 2x4 will fall in with the food and the rat. After eating the food, the rat will climb out using the 2x4 and reposition it on the counter so the dad will put out more food.