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Joined 4 天前
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Cake day: 2025年6月29日

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  • My credentials (nearly none):
    I’m a six-espresso-shot in the morning kinda guy and I don’t think I’ve ever said no to a cappuccino. I have a super-automatic espresso maker/milk frother that my wife and I bought in exchange for not buying coffee while out for 6 months. When I wanna get fancy with my cappuccino, I pull the espresso using a hand pump press and foam the milk by hand.

    My opinion:
    Once I’m done admiring the crema of my espresso and have smelled all the potential ingredients to decide what will make me happy for this cup, I pour them into a cup and drink it. I like my coffee drinks to look like someone put the ingredients in the cup in a way that makes sense. I get really sad when people make art in my drinks because my gluttonous drinking style and mustache are going to ruin it immediately. I feel like someone showed me a painting they’d completed over the course of a month and I were to run my fingers across it saying, “oh wow! I love the feeling of dried oil paints!”

    Summary:
    Between the two, I guess I prefer the Italian style, but even that would drown me in guilt the moment I took my first sip.



  • I was gonna say that you can’t just row across the ocean, but apparently you can.

    If you gain the sponsoring for an ocean rowboat, you can then secure sponsorship for the 3-4 months-worth of food since restaurants and gardens are hard to come by in the ocean. I understand that fish live in the ocean, but fishing eats into your 17 hours per day during which you’ll need to row. Also, trying to handle fish on the open ocean in a small boat is an incredibly risky maneuver. Even worse, once you catch the fish, you gotta set your boat on fire so that you can cook it and not get parasites.

    All told, it’s significantly cheaper to just fly, but that’s unhelpful advice to someone who just told you that they can’t afford to uproot their life and fly to another country. You might ask, how can you not afford that, and the problem is that hiking across countries smaller than my state gives you opportunities to work odd jobs in exchange for shelter, food, and money. But since planes and airports generally don’t hire random passengers, it puts you back in that “I’m fucked” boat that you suggested.

    Also, all this is giving your unserious comment the credence that you weren’t talking about taking a gondola ride across the Atlantic.

















  • Watching Grandma’s Boy with my parents was pretty wild.

    Not nearly as wild as watching with my mom, aunts, uncles, and cousins the Titty Fuck Follies VHS we found in my grandmother’s bedroom right after she died.

    Also found her dildos and other assistive technologies. We put all of that in a bag of “sentimental” items and buried it with her.

    My grandmother was known to blow my grandfather in the hot tub at their condo and used to tell random people how to use the bubble jets to have an orgasm.

    Rest in peace, Grandma, you majestic legend.