Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]

(That’s the gag. The article talks about an annual $800 travel/child care/wellness allowance like it’s the solution to this non-problem.)

Just give them a child care. What could it cost? $800 a year?

As an enlightened political centrist, I would only eat at Them-Person Hooters. I inappropriately sexualize ALL genders!

I am very intelligent.

In fairness, ol’ Joe just learned about the Tikky Tockies, so he thinks China is all clocks and timers now.

pwepawing u 4 UwU pwivacy invasion install sowwwwwyyyyyy ｡ﾟ･（>﹏<）･ﾟ｡

Okay, so:

Direct cremation is a very specific thing that morticians are obligated to provide, at risk of losing their license if they refuse. It costs less than a thousand bucks (but usually a lot less), and they don’t make a lot of money off of it. So, they’re unlikely to offer that service unless you use those specific words: DIRECT CREMATION.

What that means is your body is cremated, and your loved ones get your remains back in a plastic bag in a box. They can spread your ashes wherever you want. Or flush you down the toilet. But they probably shouldn’t do that, because there’s bits of bone in there and that would be really awkward to explain to a plumber. But you get the idea.

Funeral directors will attempt to take advantage of your family’s grief to upsell them on virtually everything imaginable. I mean, you loved X, didn’t you? Don’t they deserve the best? They’re monsters. When my brother died our parents were ready to hand over $15,000 to those ghouls for nothing. I intervened, and the same service they wanted was possible for around $800.

Fuck funeral homes.

A direct cremation plan. And instructions to not have your ashes interred in a graveyard or funeral home. It’ll save your loved ones thousands of dollars, and save them from being exploited by the multi-billion dollar funeral industry.

This massacre of innocent bicycles cannot be allowed to stand.

What the fuck

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They should have gone with Gigantamax Duraludon for the towers.