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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • More and more people are shaking off the old expectations of women’s passivity and men’s aggressiveness. There’s still a ways to go but it’s not as radically rare as it would have been 30-40 years ago. I was the one who proposed to my husband and took the active role in wooing him, and I’ve told that story quite a bit and only had positive reactions. Amongst our friends, I’m the only one I know who took the lead like that, but there are a lot of personalities that vary dramatically from the classic gender binary relationship. I would say my husband is the kinder and more gentle of the two of us, and he’s a tender and loving parent. Our partnership has a lot of quirks and would probably only work for us, but what’s important is that it does work.

    I’m also going to say that it’s good to have an idea of what you want in a relationship, but don’t let a fantasy get in the way of reality. What you daydream about might be attainable, but more likely you will need to compromise on some things, and dating and having relationship experiences will be lessons in what those things can be.





  • Not everyone handles sleep deprivation the same. Not every baby sleeps the same amount or at regular intervals. Some babies just never seem to sleep or have weird needs that require exhausting accommodations. It’s terrible, but new babies are so vulnerable and there are so many chances for failure at the same time parents are at their most compromised. I have sympathy for the stupid, addled, forgetful mistakes anyone could make under constant, chronic exhaustion.

    We were never meant to do it alone, the nuclear family is a myth.


  • When dealing with upholstery, the materials are much thicker than your average entry point sewing machine will be able to handle. The feet might not be able to feed the heavy material through, and some machines will be physically unable to feed your material under the needle where seams meet. In most sewing projects there may be four or even six layers of material at some points where seams meet or need to be rolled over, which would require more space between the foot and plate than most machines could handle. So if your principle interest in sewing is upholstery, you will probably have to find a machine explicitly made for that task and it won’t be cheap.



  • I’m not sure if you’ve tried making it but the recipes that I have tried all result in a dough that’s capable of standing on its own as a boule. If you do an image search you can see a lot of images of Irish soda bread with X score marks baked in to their tops, which you couldn’t make with a liquid batter.




  • My two year old has rotating favorite colors. He knows our favorite colors and he will bring us objects that are those colors, and then we ask what his favorite color is. He’ll pick out a marker or point to something or say a color. It changes every few days. Today was “lello”, a few days ago it was “bu”. He’s probably been interested in colorful objects (favoring something in primary colors vs pastels or neutrals) since about 5 months. So at least this kid has been interested in color almost from the beginning.