Salt, fat, yes, but also smoke and sweetness. Complex flavors are contained within.

Edit to add: Of course everyone has preferences. You don’t have to like bacon, and your feelings are valid. But, if you think that bacon doesn’t have much flavor, can I ask you if you’ve been eating “uncured” bacon? Because “uncured” bacon is an abomination unto the lord. It’s garbage, and worse it’s a lie. “Uncured” bacon is cured with celery juice. It’s fully cured. There’s nothing uncured about it.

See, nitrates and nitrites are responsible for the curing process. Nitrates turn raw meat into smoky cured meat, and nitrites give it that lovely pinkish-red color. It’s a chemical process that makes meat taste better and last longer.

Nitrates and nitrites are found in root and leafy vegetables, and kill bacteria. They are also found in wood, but we don’t really eat wood. They can also be produced via a variety of chemical processes that won’t be appetizing at all.

Cured meats can be bathed in nitrates and nitrites, or they can be smoked. The smoke will provide the nitrates and nitrites, although a lot of “naturally smoked” products have added nitrates and nitrites.

Both are good for you in small quantities, and bad for you in large quantities. You shouldn’t eat bacon with every meal, but the quantity of nitrates and nitrites in bacon are fine in moderation.

The amount of nitrates and nitrites used in curing meat is highly regulated. In the US, you cannot call anything “cured” unless it has a specific amount of added nitrates, and the amount of nitrites is limited.

Except there’s a loophole.

If the nitrates and nitrites come from a natural source, like celery juice, then they aren’t regulated at all. It could be higher or lower concentrations of each, and there’s no requirement to document how much of each is present in the recipe. And because there are no “added” nitrates or nitrites, it legally cannot be labelled with the word “cured.”

So bacon manufacturers have figured out that they can market this “uncured” bacon as a healthier alternative to normal bacon. But we don’t know for sure that it is healthier, in fact it might be worse for your health. The only thing we know for sure is that it tastes like celery.

Now, celery flavor works in a lot of recipes. It’s distinctive and subtle when paired with carrots and onions in a mirepoix. In bacon, however, the celery flavor competes with the salt and the smokiness to make the bacon blander. It’s just bad.

But the label tests well with shoppers. Who doesn’t want guilt-free bacon? It costs the same (celery juice is just as cheap as manufactured nitrates and nitrites) and it tastes almost like regular bacon. It has all the same fat, calories, and sodium content.

So Write your Congressperson! Tell them you demand new legislation regarding the labeling of so-called “uncured” bacon. I guarantee that if we got rid of the misleading implication that it is a healthier alternative to bacon, the product would disappear entirely.

Or don’t. It’s not really that serious.