• 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      9 months ago

      Hey, shit happened to me as well… deadbeat obese mom…

      Buuut, I wanted him to have his mom by his side… no matter how offputting and lazy she is… so, we make it work (kinda… not really… I do it for the kid, OK 😭?!).

      • Pinklink@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        I have a shit mom and a great dad. They got divorced when I was fairly young. I still have a relationship with both of them, but thank god for my good dad because I’m not sure I would be an okay person without him. One good parent can be enough to keep you sane. So keep it up, you can do it :)

        • 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.worksOP
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          9 months ago

          Of course, I do it every time and at every occasion I get 😊. I love him to death 😊.

          That doesn’t mean I’m not strict. He knows the rulebook, we draw and make shapes and color before TV or whatnot… not that his mom taught him any of that 🤬. She just switches on the TV and call it a day.

          Anyway, he still loves having her arround… for moral support or whatever… and he sees other kids do fun stuff with mom and dad, and he wants that as well… and he has only dad in that scenario, but mom is still around… mostly… with a cigarette in her mouth and on her phone doomscrolling 😒… but yeah, she is present.

          I am trying not to kill myself solwly by focusing on the kid, what he wants to do and finds interesting, so that keeps my mind off current events… it works… for the time being…

          • protist@mander.xyz
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            9 months ago

            Dude, you have some serious decisions to face that you’ve been putting off. Don’t hide behind “doing it for my child,” make good decisions that are right for you and in the end they’ll be good for your kid too, whether or not there’s short term pain.

            • 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.worksOP
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              9 months ago

              I hope I am… I really do… I think I’m doing OK, but I always consult other people and elderly people that have raised at least a few kids, and then kinda make my own mash of all of the info, take into account my son’s personality and come up with a “formula”… it is a lot of work though, parrenting didn’t really come naturally to me, I really had no idea how to approach a baby from a psychological development perspective. Diapers, eating, cuddling, cramps, that stuff’s easy. Starting to teach him things, that was the hard part for me… quite frankly, I was lost… she was freaking nowhere to be found regarding this, so I had no help from her… so I just started watching people in the park with babies, while we were having a stroll, do what they are doing with their kids. That was my starting point, and it was hard, but it got easier as I got more into it 😊.

      • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Giving a young person two sets of perspective is often as valuable as having a stable nuclear family. Good work.