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Charge him then. Fucking fascist twerp.
His father is Charles Coristine, who bought the snack company LesserEvil in 2011 and runs it as chief executive. His maternal grandfather was Valery Martynov, a KGB lieutenant colonel who spied for the FBI and CIA in the 1980s and was executed in Moscow in 1987 after Aldrich Ames and Robert Hanssen betrayed him. Coristine has said on Fox News that his grandfather “died so that I could come here and live in this free country that I love so much.”
Jesus Christ, no wonder his politics are fucked.
His grandfather was a double traitor who only cared for personal gain and money. He got what was coming to him.
Meanwhile he is following in his grandfather’s footsteps by being a complete parasite and sack of shit to the country he lives in.
His grandfather sounds based as fuck, I actually wonder how he turned out this way.
EDIT: Ya’ll Tankies downvoting? I’ll say it again. Fuck the USSR, they’re no different than what MAGA aspires to be.
He spied on the US and the USSR. He was not some principled ideology. His ideological and moral compass only pointed towards money and nothing else.
He was sent by the USSR, made deals with the FBI and CIA, moved his family to the states and was executed by the KGB for spying on the USSR.
Sounds like the ultimate redemption arc. We should all aspire to be so strong of will against tyranny.
Clearly he couldn’t pass off the tiniest bit of it to his son and grandson before he died, sadly.
It’s always the ones you expect the most.
He looks like someone with very small balls tbh
Well projecting is their mo
How is this projecting?
Every time I see a picture of him, I think “Big Balls” must be one of those ironic nicknames.
I remember some actual military veteran explaining that they almost never give the toughest fighters badass nicknames. You can kid around with guys with nicknames like ‘Big Balls’ or ‘Killer’ but run away from the guy they call ‘Kitten’ or ‘Candy.’
If the handful of veterans that I know are anything to go by, military nicknames are often directly related to the dumbest mistake they made during their enlistment.
It Runs the gamut. Some people get nicknames for skills, some for mistakes, and Others for the Most obscure reasons.
Not a Veteran myself, but a civilian who used to Work in defense. The Nickname Stories are Always fascinating though.
Did you spill soda on your shift key?
Their new nickname is “7up”
We live in the dumbest timeline.
Excellent news. Now do Elon.
Good. I hope he spills everything on Elon.
He will be Epsteined before that happens.
There is a reason they got a stupid naive kid to do their dirty work. He is the fall guy they can blame, and yes, if he spills the beans he will fall out of a window, or something or that nature.
Elon is happy, all the investigations against his companies have been stopped fully.
Window is Russia.
In the US, people shoot themselves in the back of the head.
Every single one of them need lengthy prison sentences. “Just following Elon’s instructions” should not be an adequate defense.
lmao what is this from
Sometimes the Doge’in is easy, sometimes the Doge’in is hard.
I wanna see people like ‘Big Balls,’ or Ed, as we call him colloquially.
My name is Sir Donut Fucker Vibrating Butt Plug III but my friends call me John
I’d piss myself if I said I had to go to the Sir Donut Fucker Vibrating Butt Plug III.
Ok Mr Piss Myself At Sir Donut Fucker Vibrating Butt Plug III, nice to meet you.
Did they not realize they would always be the fall guys?
They’re a bunch rich nepobabies who have failed upwards their whole life (as an example Swollen Testicles here is the heir to Lesser Evil snacks), they probably viewed this as yet another “smash and grab” corporate looting to use as a step up to their next jobs. I’m honestly skeptical that they’ll end up as fall guys, after all the Trump administration has shown that crime is legal as long as you’ve got a R next to your name.
as an example Swollen Testicles here is the heir to Lesser Evil snacks
Well that’s irritating. Some of their popcorn is delicious.
I should have trusted my logic that a company called “Lesser Evil” is still admitting it’s evil, its main selling point being “Our competition is more-er evil” …
…presupposing that “Not evil” simply isn’t an option in our socioeconomic system. Because of course.
“You should never grade Evils, because if one is the worst, you might be tempted kinship with the least.”
People don’t think it is like it is. But it do . Sure reality has edge cases and exeptions… but yeee
I look at things like this and figure that is why Im having a hard time finding work.
You have morals and ethics. It’s a lot easier to make money without them
