I really think we need different words for these things. In my own experience, consenting to sexual contact with over 18’s as a teenager was a neutral-to-positive experience for me, while being assaulted by under 18’s was not hella fun. I don’t really like that they’re bundled together as the same thing.
It’s an interesting point. I was once a 14 year old girl. I would have consented to fucking a rock star for sure back then. It was more ok to be with older guys then and I didn’t really have bad experiences with who I gave consent to, either.
When I was a 15 year old girl and the 35 year old man that had been giving me attention all week ASKED if he could touch me, I was so excited and wanted it to happen.
I regret it now, and when I think about that man now, i think about what a sick and disgusting person he was. And I think about how I wish the adults in my life has protected little me better. But it wasn’t traumatizing or scary when it happened, and while I legally couldn’t consent, I mean… I consented as much as was possible. I thought I was cool and beautiful and grown up, because a handsome adult man thought I was pretty.
It’s complicated. I know now that it was wrong for that man to do that, but I’m trying not to hate myself for wanting it and liking it at the time. I do believe it was wrong and bad, but it’s hard to reconcile how I felt then vs how I feel now.
I really think we need different words for these things. In my own experience, consenting to sexual contact with over 18’s as a teenager was a neutral-to-positive experience for me, while being assaulted by under 18’s was not hella fun. I don’t really like that they’re bundled together as the same thing.
It’s an interesting point. I was once a 14 year old girl. I would have consented to fucking a rock star for sure back then. It was more ok to be with older guys then and I didn’t really have bad experiences with who I gave consent to, either.
When I was a 15 year old girl and the 35 year old man that had been giving me attention all week ASKED if he could touch me, I was so excited and wanted it to happen.
I regret it now, and when I think about that man now, i think about what a sick and disgusting person he was. And I think about how I wish the adults in my life has protected little me better. But it wasn’t traumatizing or scary when it happened, and while I legally couldn’t consent, I mean… I consented as much as was possible. I thought I was cool and beautiful and grown up, because a handsome adult man thought I was pretty.
It’s complicated. I know now that it was wrong for that man to do that, but I’m trying not to hate myself for wanting it and liking it at the time. I do believe it was wrong and bad, but it’s hard to reconcile how I felt then vs how I feel now.
Hey u/smcf, come tell this person they were raped