• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    As soon as she leaves:

    “Ugh! FINALLY!!! I thought she would never leave…Ok, pass me the blood of the innocent.”

    • Jesus_666@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      “Let me do a check to see if I give you the right blood… Nope, not with a 5. Here’s your blood orange juice.”

      • RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz
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        4 days ago

        Satan: ”Ok, so you mispronounced beelzebub which would normally give you -2 on the summoning check. However, your virgin blood counts as a superior sacrifice material so it all cancels out. Now, lemme get my dice…”

        • NannerBanner@literature.cafe
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          4 days ago

          I saw a comic recently where the evil cultist tried to sacrifice his virgin friend to gain power/favor from a demon. Only, whoops! The friend had lied about being a virgin, and the cultist was one. Cultist learned just what the hard way is on that one.

      • RamenJunkie@midwest.social
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        3 days ago

        “Congratulations, you have discovered the secret message, please send your answer to ol’ Pink, care of, the funny farm.”