“AH! Glad you brought that up, because I have FANTASTIC news for you: I’ve already done it! Because I am productive and prepared. I get things done–and you could really use someone who shows up on time every time right about now. At this time, I’m still a mere potential customer of yours, but employers who accept me into a position also commence receiving the benefits of my following of instructions and due diligence effort to learn my role PLUS as a bonus total insulation from workplace drama: I know how to leave drama at home as well as neither create, nor amplify, nor reflect it in the workplace.”

honestly bro if someone showed up in my office with that kind of energy I’d be emailing the owner of the company asking him to hire them right fucking now. people who know how to do the most basic shit AND ACTUALLY WILL DO IT are worth a lot more than any “highly skilled and experienced” diva who never answers their fucking phone when they’re on call or totally flakes out from their scheduled shift once a week like clockwork.