Apart from the problems pointed out by my esteemed colleagues in the comments elsewhere, I am sorry to say that this project, upon which our country has spent so many dollars, is fundamentally flawed. I know that this will be a major disappointment, but we are scientists! We must face the truth!
The entire principle that causes a piece of bread to fall butter side down depends on, as we know, the fundamental law of inconvenience. Butter, touching the floor and getting icky dust and germs on it, is rendered useless, and taints the very bread upon which it is installed. Furthermore, one must clean up the butter from the ground.
Such concentrated inconvenience, combined with Murphy’s law, ensures that the buttery bread will indeed fall down and touch that floor.
Touch, gentlemen! For it to be inconvenient, it must make contact with the floor! But if we, in our ambition and satisfied self-regard, ensure that the bread is securely strapped to the back of one of our many, many brave feline test subjects, then the bread can never touch the floor!
Inconvenience then has no mechanism of action, and Murphy smiles upon us no more! This project’s delays, long thought to be merely an issue of getting the balance right, of baking the perfect slice of bread, of securing sufficient butter, of scaling up using cheetahs, etc… They are all explained by the tragic and incontrovertible truth that we have been wasting our time on a doomed errand that could never work, even in principle! We must shut down, and stop wasting our time on this foolishness!
I personally have already applied, and been accepted, at the Corpse-Spinning Turbine Project, where I can only hope there is no similar fundamental misunderstanding. I suggest you all do the same.
I spend hours every night frustrated by the problem. Perhaps being so associated with Murphy’s Law doomed it from the beginning? But then again, perhaps that doom itself can be harnessed?
Perhaps, indeed, we must use a constant stream of cats and bread, letting enough buttery catastrophes happen to sate the fickle spirit, while still maintaining positive energy production.
Apart from the problems pointed out by my esteemed colleagues in the comments elsewhere, I am sorry to say that this project, upon which our country has spent so many dollars, is fundamentally flawed. I know that this will be a major disappointment, but we are scientists! We must face the truth!
The entire principle that causes a piece of bread to fall butter side down depends on, as we know, the fundamental law of inconvenience. Butter, touching the floor and getting icky dust and germs on it, is rendered useless, and taints the very bread upon which it is installed. Furthermore, one must clean up the butter from the ground.
Such concentrated inconvenience, combined with Murphy’s law, ensures that the buttery bread will indeed fall down and touch that floor.
Touch, gentlemen! For it to be inconvenient, it must make contact with the floor! But if we, in our ambition and satisfied self-regard, ensure that the bread is securely strapped to the back of one of our many, many brave feline test subjects, then the bread can never touch the floor!
Inconvenience then has no mechanism of action, and Murphy smiles upon us no more! This project’s delays, long thought to be merely an issue of getting the balance right, of baking the perfect slice of bread, of securing sufficient butter, of scaling up using cheetahs, etc… They are all explained by the tragic and incontrovertible truth that we have been wasting our time on a doomed errand that could never work, even in principle! We must shut down, and stop wasting our time on this foolishness!
I personally have already applied, and been accepted, at the Corpse-Spinning Turbine Project, where I can only hope there is no similar fundamental misunderstanding. I suggest you all do the same.
So it keeps you up, too, eh?
I spend hours every night frustrated by the problem. Perhaps being so associated with Murphy’s Law doomed it from the beginning? But then again, perhaps that doom itself can be harnessed?
Perhaps, indeed, we must use a constant stream of cats and bread, letting enough buttery catastrophes happen to sate the fickle spirit, while still maintaining positive energy production.