I refuse to make fun of dietary restrictions after spending five years as a waiter rolling my eyes at gluten free people and then developing a gluten intolerance.
The universe is a tricky bitch. It gave me a literal pain in the ass.
Vegans can eat just about anywhere. Feel bad for the carnivore friend who just has to stay hungry until you see a roadkill animal.
This one time roadtripping, my vegan buddy stopped 4 separate times for a snack, while I didn’t see so much as a squirrel pancake for 14 hours. Unfair!
I got lucky and found a dead skunk I could chew on.
My loser vegan friend missed out!!!
Do you live in the Beastars universe?
I immediately sent this to my boomer parents on WhatsApp after I found this and they think it is hilarious
Quick, simple, needs nobody to be Online to get it. A classic!
Has anyone stopped to consider how the grass might feel about this? I didn’t think so.
That’s why I only eat prokaryotes.
Have you ever stopped to think about how prokaryotes feel about that arrangement? That’s why I only eat silicates
Ain’t no good prokaryote 'cept one that’s enslaved or dead. Those freaky little bastards don’t even have organelles or a nucleus. MRSA, Botulism, Anthrax…we’ve been at war for billions of years. Long will I have been in the cold, cold ground before I recognize prokaryote rights.
Single cell cyanonacteria ftw though! They bow to no one, they’re self sufficient, they don’t enslave or eat others.
If only it was that easy. More fruit trees in cities for instance.
“I’m sorry?! Do you want homeless vagabonds rummaging around MY neighborhood, snacking on the fruits of MY trees?! I THINK THE FUCK NOT! ONLY MALE TREES! ALLERGIES YES, VAGABONDS NO!!!”
-NIMBYs, with funding by big agro
Gotta keep those lemon stealing whores away
.>
My planted lemon trees haven’t sprouted any goods yet. I’m still waiting to have to, erm, chase off one of them thieves.
This summer? Who the fuck is going to be able to afford gas for roadtripping?
Uhhhhhh, fuck, can’t you read???
Clearly we who can split it between roadkill and roadsalads!
At first I thought this was telling me to fuck my friend in the mouth…
