My smoking partner once told me he got some illegal treats from a eugenicist named Paul back when he was just a young boy. I asked him what they were but he just kept giving me these ridiculous cryptic answers like “fibreglass cotton balls” and “sporadic fish crystals”. One day I had enough so I took his smokes away and smoked them all by myself. A message appeared in the smoke that finally explained the secrets of Paul the eugenicist, his secrets were too dark that even I can’t repeat them. So if you ask me what they are I’m sorry but fibreglass cotton balls give me cuts all over my rectum when I shove them in my ass.

No human treat is illegal!

When my dog was a puppy I was the cop every day pulling out rocks and pieces of sticks out of her mouth. At one point she had an impressive rock collection.

If it’s hard candy she’s looking for, she should start her investigation at the White House.