Every year, my partner of a decade and I have Christmas with her family. My family is Jewish and we also spend at least one night of Hanukkah with them. For all gatherings (including birthdays) the gifts are almost exclusively chosen and purchased by the one who is more directly related to the recipient. It always feels a little weird to me that their family gets me gifts, but they never receive anything exclusively from myself, it’s just very vaguely implied that the gifts are from us as a couple. To be fair, their parents give gifts as a couple (always from their mom). Also, I would never ask my partner to purchase gifts for my family in addition to theirs, they’re already stressed enough by finding something for their own family. I’ve never brought this up with my partner as I don’t want to make them feel either obligated to or guilty about implicitly declaring that they don’t want to.
Even if your spouse does, it’s the same bank account.
It’s totally okay not to sweat this stuff, since there’s never any good in stressing about it.
Oh yeah, I picked out all the gifts for my wifes family. All of our gifts for everyone really. But that’s just our dynamic, she works out of the house and I deal with everything inside the home. The presents are from us as a unit, the details don’t matter.
My wife and I don’t even buy each other gifts.
Fuck no.
Yes. We buy something for each immediate family member on both sides. Although to your point, my spouse generally takes the lead on presents for her side, and I for mine, but we do actively consult each other before anything is bought, so it does feel like it’s from “us” and not her with my name on it also or vice versa.
I also will generally buy each of them a small gift myself each year (that they get at Christmas) if it’s something that I think they would like or fits their character. Think like t-shirts, trinkets, ornaments, or stickers and the like, and never with the expectation of receiving something in return.
It seems like you are over thinking it a bit. Just let it be more fluid, there is no right or wrong way. My wife often buys gifts for my family, the given is its from both of us. But she is out and about more often and spots things people would like, so she’s the main shopper.
We give gifts to both sets of parents as a couple, but we’re both involved in picking them out.
Actually what usually happens is my wife sets me loose to wander in a store and follows me like a dowsing rod or a truffling pig, and then I stop in front of a shelf and go “I dunno, this?” and 8/10 times she goes “holy shit, yeah”.
Really just depends on whether my wife finds something her family wants or I do. Throughout the year if you see something your SO’s family would like, buy it and let your SO know
We called a halt on all gifts to anyone over 18.
Everyone in mine chooses a charity that gets donations in lieu of expensive gifts. We do very simple $10-20 gifts so we can still have the exchange and unwrapping process together as a family but the vast majority of funds go to better causes. If any of us need a thing, then we’ll buy that thing ourselves. Takes the guess work out of it all.
Naturally the kid-o’s still get absolutely spoiled.
We stoppes gifting.
If we want to gift, we will do so outside of a designated time.When I’ve managed to can extra, my brother in laws get canned things. This year apple butter but sent well after the holidays whoops. It’s been hectic.
My partner’s family really wanted to buy me gifts before I thought we were that close. So I bought them gifts that same year!
Gifts are from us, to parents/grandparents individually, everyone else as a couple if possible, else single.
