Iām in San Francisco, at an Italian joint just south of Golden Gate Park, enjoying meatballs and bacon not made of meat in the traditional sense but of plants mixed with ācultivatedā pork fat. Dawn, you see, donated a small sample of fat, which a company called Mission Barns got to proliferate in devices called bioreactors by providing nutrients like carbohydrates, amino acids, and vitaminsāessentially replicating the conditions in her body. Because so much of the flavor of pork and other meats comes from the animalās fat, Mission Barns can create products like sausages and salami with plants but make them taste darn near like sausages and salami.
Iāve been struggling to describe the experience, because cultivated meat short-circuits my braināmy mouth thinks Iām eating a real pork meatball, but my brain knows that itās fundamentally different and that Dawn (pictured above) didnāt have to die for it. This is the best Iāve come up with: Itās Diet Meat. Just as Diet Coke is an approximation of the real thing, so too are cultivated meatballs. They simply taste a bit less meaty, at least to my tongue. Which is understandable, as the only animal product in this food is the bioreactor-grown fat.



Or, if someone doesnāt have the enzymes to digest it, it sits in their stomach and rots, which is fun.
Itās even more fun if youāre actually allergic to the proteins in meat, but I digress.
What youāre describing is called gastroparesis, and itās a serious medical condition, not something that generally happens to people as a response to certain food.