I’m a bit lost here, to be fair. I went full no contact with my family back when I was 16. Took a hike, even across countries. So, apparently what happened, was my ex brother in law not keeping his mouth shut and sharing my number with my family. I still can’t make heads or tails of it. But now my dad wants to be real chummy and friendy with me? Fuck that, honestly. I’m not super mad at him, more at the rest of my family, but it seriously hurts right now. What am I supposed to do? I’m at a loss here. Haven’t really talked to the person for over 21 years.
Also with due respect, your opinion is wrong. I work with badly abused people, and those that CAN escape from toxicity at the earliest have it “best”. Some could never escape. There are 12yr old who have a forced maturity that you often don’t even find in 40+ olds. Which is not really a good thing.
Please, i don’t wanna sound condescending or so, but widen your horizon in that regard please.
My “opinion” is not wrong. It is scientific fact. Adolescent development is an area of my professional study.
Are there abused children in the world? Yes. Are their brains well-enough developed to make any lifelong decisions? No. That doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve help. It does mean that they are not mature enough to understand the ramifications of a no-contact decision.
I don’t wanna sound condescending, but please base your own opinions in fact.
Facts? So heavily abused children should stay with their abusers forever because their "brain is not well-enough to make any lifelong decisions hence they are not… "? This is the most absurd thing I’ve heard in a while. Not saying their brain isn’t perfectly well adjusted. No shit sherlock, that’s old news. Just the conclusion is… Very questionable. The ramifications of a no-contact-decision is the faint possibility of starting a therapy and get slightly better.
Anyone abused in whatever way, no matter how mature their brain is, should leave the abusive environment (at the very least. And get help at the acceptable best) . Isn’t that like the most basic survival-tactic? Avoid any kind of harm at all costs however possible.
And now we know that you can’t (or won’t) read. That’s ok. But I do think that we’ve exhausted the possibilities of this conversation.
We sure did. But please, do continue your “studies”, you never know when it might come in handy.
Yeah I’m glad I wasn’t the only one to pick up their attempt to appeal to their own non-existent qualifications. Their field “was and is linguistics” (and a technical advisor, scuba certified hiker, former school teacher, former journalist and presumably navy seal). Who was apparently born in the 70s and alive during the Cold War era. They also don’t believe in mobile phones being addictive.
If the fact that they thought “young brains aren’t finished developing” was a profound point isn’t enough to discourage anyone taking them seriously; all of that should be. Block and ignore them. Not worth wasting the brain cells over.
Their point was that the kid’s brain isn’t well enough adjusted to understand the ramifications of a permanent non-contact-decision. While part 1 isn’t wrong, part 2 is so horribly off, even to the point of someone seemingly fearing their toy might be leaving. Not saying pedo, but either that, silly conclusion or a total lack of empathy.
And nah, i rarely block nor ignore. Most people fight for their point to the death, even if they already know it’s bonkers. Even “science”-people who totally shouldn’t, as it’s never a personal fight in science. And trying to indicate some kind of authority on the topic is fine too. I did it myself. Those who really have, know the difference of stating and posing it.
Trying to indicate authority on a subject is fine if it’s relevant to the discussion which I would argue their isn’t. The rest I agree with and find commendable. I haven’t blocked them either but it’s my go to suggestion for others dealing with posters like this.