while i do appreciate the “why should i change, he’s the one who sucks”, you gotta think about the optics at least some of the time. if you have to explain it every time, how many people do you think left before you had the chance because of first impressions? people who have had enough bad experiences to not want to take the risk?

koans can also be fables, ending on a vagueness designed to be meditated upon in order to learn a lesson.