Phantaloons

One less taken parking spot at Longhorn.

That’s my secret, Cap, I’m always outdated.

-Lineage User

Ew, Dasani?

puts it back

–force

A good waste of taxpayer money, but at least they’ll be using his grave as an endless source for ammonia for years to come.

I’m antipedo, so we’re good.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I am NOT a-

Now post the eldrich horror version.

We’re not only animals, we’re not even the smartest ones.

Our biggest mistake is thinking the rules of nature apply to all but us. Hubris killed the human.

This round, anyway.

Republican plan (add water):

phone rings

Normal person: “Who?”

Me: “Why?”

…exactly?

You wouldn’t want to mess up your best at a Wendy’s.

Why aren’t ours?

Ironically, the first place I heard about gays was church, tho?

Streisand the Streisand.

Avoid teh gays

“teh whats?!”

They’ll all be branded heroes while his entire family and friend circle is harassed endlessly, sometimes for fun.

But does anyone recommend a script or tool for removing edge?

Leave it, the company you work for is taking the risk of using Windows,… let them. If your accounts get stolen and they get hacked into, it’s their risk, not yours, and since it’s a work computer, you shouldn’t have any personal info on it… right?

I’m on TOR, fuck it.

About six years ago, my boss at the time, who was also a close friend got fired by the asshat company we worked for. They gave me his job and a 25 cent raise.

I said “You’re joking? You ruin someone’s life and insult mine?” not in the best mood and sitting on $6k at the time

and the reply from them was it was all they could do. I played coy, thanked them anyway and waited.

One day, I got a call saying a big job was coming up, huge for the company, and that our site would be involved how lovely. The requirements were that I was to deliver a 26ft box truck to <redacted> and meet a group of contractors. They kept hyping up what a job it was and how much money it would make the company. At this point in time, I am the sole worker at my site, 300+ miles away from anyone at HQ or otherwise.

The night before, I turned my phone off and slept in, then woke up and started browsing indeed, I was hired as a service tech, same field with a $5 raise a week later.

I paint now, forgive me.

…nahhhh

Yeah, we’re all crying, no one’s laughing.

If an American version existed:

“Nabisco Bite-sized Wellingtons!”

basically combos flavored like steak