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I wish I could read all of that text clearly
They look delicious, but I want to be deep fried when I die.
You know how when you were a kid you’d mix all the flavours from the soda fountain?
Fittingly, we always called that a suicide.
We called it a graveyard, still works lol
Same.
…Why the fuck did we call it that??
What, there’s no morticians on this platform to explain exactly what each of these does to a body?
No added preservatives!
THEY ARE ADDED PRESERVATIVES!
I was gonna say. There’s none added because that’s what they are.
“Oops, all preservatives.”
“Oops, all preservatives.”
I think mass-produced factory loaves of bread also should include this on their labels because have you noticed the past couple decades that bread never gets moldy anymore, regardless how long it’s neglected in its plastic packaging?
Exactly, thank you. There are no added preservatives. Just the preservatives, as requested.
Same vibe:
purple one is to die for
People are so toxic that they want to be toxic after they die too.
I just want to be dumped off at the landfill or ground up and used for fertilizer after giving up any useful organs.
It’s surprisingly difficult to get that treatment.
Just compost me. Throw my body into the green cart. Why do I need to spend so much money?
Holy bourgeoise, batman! Just befriend a rancher. We are all compost in training, it’s not that hard
e: fr tho, nothing illegal about just getting dropped in a hole as-is on private property most places
nothing illegal about just getting dropped in a hole as-is on private property most places
That’s not true for good reason- people who don’t know what they’re doing could contaminate groundwater/runoff very easily.
It shouldn’t be as expensive as it is, and I’d support dropping unembalmed corpses without certain diseases (an asymptomatic or undiagnosed prion disease could be incredibly dangerous) in a hole, as long as they are adequately buried. That would require an autopsy and either significant refrigeration costs or a rushed job without embalming though.
Even in death we must feed the machine.
Just grill me.
Never forget to empty the grease tray for your homie
god damn that’s a really nice grill.
Had this conversation recently when my wife died. She wanted to be cremated with no embalming but wanted a visitation. In the US you have to be embalmed to have a visitation. No amount of pleading to just put her in an ice bath would work sadly.
You can’t have a visitation with someone who has been cremated? Are you positive thats not a state specific thing?
Maybe there is something else you can call it? It just surprises me because my grandmother and an uncle where both cremated, and we had services. I thought they were visitations.
I think they meant she wanted her body to be seen before cremation, and the funeral home wouldn’t do that without embalming her.
I see I see. Ok yea that I could believe.
Yea, this is it. Guess it wasn’t s clear. Visitation and then cremation.
because the funereal business is a sham.
can’t have y without x and if you get x you need z. we’ve conveniently packaged it together in our x-z package for a low cost of $6999. isn’t this what the dearly departed would want from you? don’t they deserve the best??
and that’s why I’m a complete fucking asshole. I don’t deserve the best. I deserve to rot in a culvert on the outskirts of the airport.
I mean, sure. You do you.
Metaflow Arterial Conditioner looks delicious
Wow your arteries are glowing! What conditioner do you use?
It works best when used in combination with Metaflow Arterial Shampoo.
Rinse and repeat.
It looks like Midori.
From left to right; peach, watermelon, lemon, grape, apple, guava.
Far left is actually Dragon Fruit Splash™. Its got electrolytes.
It’s what corpses crave!
brains?
🤘metalflow! 🤘
Looks apple flavored tho
Imagine getting drunk, breaking into a morgue and seeing this.
Dodge like the car company? gnarly, going for that complete vertical integration achievement
I’d think anything that involved an open casket would be red tinted. Who wants to see grandma in her casket with visibly green veins…
Don’t yuck other people’s yums!
It’s not a leave in conditioner.
We also knew grandma was too old to not be a witch
She always reminded us of a vulcan
grandma had a mean nerve pinch
I’ve got a few of those in my back. TIL I’m Vulcan. Really shouldn’t be too surprised.
