# We check if the server is on by asking the ALU to perform an operation,
$result = 1 + 1;

if ($result == 2) {
	print "Server is ON.\n";
} else {
	print "Server is OFF.\n";
	print "Power on the system before attempting to run any programs!\n";
}

Brilliant

cdrewind Rewind CDROMs before ejection.

lol wut