This guy is gonna have so many girls wanting to marry him while in jail. GIVE ME THE ADDRESS, I NEED TO WRITE TO HIM FIRST!!
He’s still gonna spend his entire life on death row, you just know they’re gonna throw the entire bookshelf at him.
NY outlawed capital punishment.
Just write the letters in lowercase, then.
Considering how much money talks, I wouldn’t put it past “him” to take his own life in holding cell.
There’s got to be a betting pool on how he’s going to be smeared in the media. And another one on how he’s going to be Epstein’d.
A lot of people don’t make it out of Rikers…
It’s just the usual dime a dozen fame chasing hoes. He can do better.
Mine was:
Most likely to be arrested in a McDonald’s.
Headline: RATS FOUND AT MCDONALDS
Charming and attractive, there’s no way that a ton of super normal people didn’t immediately recognize him, then actively chose to stay quiet.
Except for some random class traitor.
Hey babe, you with UnitedHealthcare?
Cuz imma hafta terminate dat policy
Hey babe are you with united health care? I’m gonna give you backshots you’ll never forget.
Also quite good at put-down crimes
It’s only a crime if the jury agrees
