“Who can turn the world on with his smile…”

All 10 dentists hate you.

That’s why they bought them.

Is that why Israel is trying to make Gaza look like the Salt Lakes?

That’s how far ahead of time that stuff is bottled. It’s not like it goes bad in a couple of weeks, it’s water + chemicals.

The date is usually printed somewhere in the bottle.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say all of them would die for one reason or another.

Also, my first experience with the internet back in 1994 was a page of elephant jokes, I feel I’ve come full circle now.

How is using the word ethical to describe something a criticism?

Me over here with the Ibuprofen and the Coke and pizza.

They’re not good enough for you.

Six Flags Luxor

One of the worst humans in recorded history. No small feat.

Uncle John knows the correct way to mount toilet paper.

I mean yeah, Metric scales.

2027

CNN: “The United Stares has again vetoed sending aid to Palestine and Ukraine in the latest UN vote…”

Apple: “We’re so pleased to announce the 20th anniversary iPhone! It’s starts at $2,999….”

In spite of this, the US government does not actually have meaningful diplomatic relations with the American people.

The microwave is hardcore mode.

Thank you for your service, Mr. Jackson.

Every time Omni-man tells you to look at something, it disappears.